Sunday’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta was more than a little hard to watch. Between the stripping and tonguing, there was plenty of questionable behavior. Yet, as dedicated fans, we somehow got through it. And even better, we managed to narrow it down to our top five WTF moments, so read on for the best of Season 5, Episode 9: “Dress Down And Strip Bare.”
1. He’s Just Not That Into You
We feel like we’re beating a dead horse with this because, to be honest, Kenya Moore and Walter Jackson’s “relationship” has been like a season long WTF?! moment. But since being dissed and thoroughly dismissed in Anguilla wasn’t enough, the marriage minded former Miss U.S.A. came back for more this week, still looking for an explanation and a ring from the guy. While Walter did say he loved Kenya, she basically gave the guy a six month deadline to propose, because, in her words, she’s a “wife and not a girlfriend.” If you keep it up, girl, you’ll be neither.
2. Put It Back On!
Faced with the slightly disturbing fact that strip clubs are just as ordinary as fast food in Atlanta, Cynthia Bailey and husband, Peter organized a group trip with Phaedra Parks and Apollo to the infamous Clermont Lounge strip club. And while the name may have suggested a classy establishment, what they got instead was some fully-aged full frontal. Maybe we’re spoiled because we’re used to looking at newly Botox-ed and silicon-enhanced housewives, but seeing these Golden Girls let it all hang out was a real shock to both the group and us at home.
3. Apollo Oh-No
And the disorienting display proved to be a little too much for Phaedra’s husband, Apollo Nida. Or at least that’s our explanation for his baffling monologue on the state of his marriage. Telling the group that he wasn’t “restrained by time” or the “specter of the time scale,” Apollo was either reading from A Wrinkle In Time or throwing back some serious shots.
4. Phaedra and Apollo Sitting In A Tree
That also seemed to be the case at Cynthia’s P.T. Moscato launch party, where Apollo continued to rag on the ball and chain, telling Peter that she was a “beast.” But then, things got really hairy. Barely ten seconds after calling Phaedra out, he was by her side and shoving his tongue down her throat, effectively quelling any divorce rumors (and our appetites). And with news that Phaedra is expecting again, it looks like they’ve been K-I-S-S-I-N-G ever since.
5. Porsha and Kenya: Best Friends For Never
As if that wasn’t enough, Porsha Stewart felt that it was time, once again, to reopen old wounds and whip out the claws against enemy Kenya Moore. Approaching the already glum girl at the party, Porsha decided to semi-demand an apology as her husband, Kordell, looked on disapprovingly. Kenya was in no mood to entertain Porsha’s storyline, and waved her off, telling her they would never be friends. Guess we know who wasn’t on Porsha’s Christmas list ...