Credit: Talking With Tami Photo: Phaedra & Apollo Walk The Red Carpet at The Bailey Agency's School of Fashion Opening

It's time for our weekly dose of insanity — here's what went down with Phaedra Parks on Season 5, Episode 9 of  The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Let's do this!

Donkey Booty Business

Back in ATL, Phaedra was ready to start her “donkey booty” empire, and since we saw the fruits of her labor on display in Anguilla, it’s no wonder she wants to make a fitness DVD.

She enlists the help of Kenya Moore and her production company, but that’s clearly as far as she got in the planning process because she has no idea what she wants. And it shows.

But she knows what she doesn’t want and that’s anything Apollo has to say. Clearly, he’s supposed to be the “silent partner” in this business deal.

God Bless You?

Phaedra then brings her pastor over to bless Kandi Burruss and Todd’s new house, and basically figures that while he’s there, he should just go ahead and marry the couple as well! The two aren’t nearly as overjoyed at the idea of their impending nuptials as Phaedra is about planning them, so she settles for discussing her own marriage instead.

Kandi and Todd are horrified and look like they’re reaching for the “eject” button out of this conversation as Phae-Phae talks about how annoying Apollo is because he, gasp, talks to her in the morning. Men, amirite?!  

Stripped Down 

And because it’s The Real Housewives and Phaedra is a true Southern belle, we shift from a home blessing to strip clubbing in no time. She and Apollo join Cynthia Bailey and Peter at the first strip club ever invented, and lets just say the ladies look to be just as old as the building itself. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but what’s even uglier was the clear tension between the couple, as Apollo goes on and on about breaking free from time or Phaedra. Or maybe both? 

Honestly, we had a hard time keeping up with his ramblings and couldn’t tell if he was talking about his marriage or his secret for time travel. We feel for the dude because clearly this marriage has got him talking crazy.   

Wine and Dine Em 

At Cynthia’s wine launch, Apollo throws back the shots while telling Peter about being cooped up in prison. Now that he’s out, he’s ready to let loose, if only it weren’t for the “beast” AKA his wife. It may just be guy talk, but his constant complaints have everyone, including the gossip blogs that the housewives apparently read hourly, a little concerned. 

As if on cue, Apollo makes sure to return to his wife’s side, laughing off the divorce rumors and then treating everyone to a completely gratuitous and totally over the top makeout sesh. 

The couple is expecting baby no.2 now, so they must be doing something right!