After two weeks off and some serious withdrawal, The Real Housewives of Atlanta are back and ready to rock 2012. Let's do this!
Kim's Bouncing Back
Over at the Zolciak/Biermann household, the family is adjusting to life with a new baby by unpacking their super fancy Versace china. Oh, the stress! Surprisingly, it's Kim’s older daughter, Brielle, who's acting out in an attempt to steal attention away from her little brother. Dang teenagers.
Later, Sheree Whitfield comes by to whip Kim into post-baby shape with some planking and veggie juice concoctions — although we gotta say, mama looks pretty damn good already. Work it!
Cynthia and Peter Head to Counseling
Things between Cynthia Bailey and her husband Peter Thomas are a bit rocky after last week's opening of the Bailey Agency School of Fashion. The party was a success until Cynthia called her husband up in front of the whole room for a celebratory toast, only to find out that he had bailed. His excuse? "I don't like to say goodbye." Um, you're not 12, parting after summer camp, you're just taking off for the night — we think you can let your wife know you'll see her later at home. Clearly, these two need some counseling stat. But first, a little salsa dancing.
After the dance lesson, the newlyweds seek out advice from their pastor and things get tense when Cynthia calls Peter a dinosaur. (Ironic that the couple chose to recite their vows under an actual dinosaur.) When the couple is asked to tell one another what they love about each other, Peter actually comes out with some pretty sweet stuff to say about Cynthia. Guess these two aren't ready to throw in the towel just yet, even though Cynthia doesn't necessarily like Peter. Or love him. But she's in love with him, so it's all good. (Huh?!)
Kandi Gets Her Country On
Meanwhile, Kandi Burruss is heads to Nashville, Tennessee, to begin work with country star Jo Dee Messina. It's a bit awkward at first, but the ladies manage to collaborate on a sappy song about drunks and not giving up. Sounds like all the ingredients for a country hit.
Nene and Marlo Make Nice
Across town, NeNe Leakes mets up for Moscato (aka lunch) with socialite Marlo Hampton. NeNe assured Marlo that her brief fling with Charles Grant is in the past and that he never even saw her "Hello Kitty." The women then discover that they both have insanely huge feet and proceeded to go shopping for some Loubies. A few days later, NeNe attends a charity event Marlo invited her to. Looks like we'll have to wait a little bit longer for this catfight to begin.
Funerals Worth Dying For!
Despite the sheer absurdity of it all, Phaedra Parks is still determined to open up her own funeral home. The trick is finding a job for Apollo in the business — perhaps dealing with the bodies will be a good fit because of his strong physique. Of course, Phaedra will have to convince Apollo that funerals aren't all "boo-hoo" and morbid... at least not her funerals, which will be "worth dying for." Yep, she actually said that.
Phaedra decides a visit to Willy Watkins' funeral home will warm Apollo up to the whole idea, but he's still on the fence. Huh, you would have thought all those coffins and dead body tools would’ve had him at hello. Not even Phaedra's "boom in the tomb" dance could convince him. Finally, he gives in when Phaedra appeals to his macho-man side and points out how excited the little old ladies will be to hang from his big biceps as he escorts them in.
The couple then did this mock, borderline-erotic consolation scenario and cackled like villains. Kinda cute, but mostly disturbing. Anyway, Fantastic Funerals by Phaedra is on — dearly departed, look out!