Credit: Bravo Photo: Friend Contracting in Episode 1

We know what you're thinking: How can we possibly pick only five of these moments for any given Housewives eppy? Admittedly, this is definitely one challenging task, but we managed to narrow it down. Read on for our picks for Top 5 Ridiculous Moments from Episode 3.11: "Contract Player"

5. Kim's Choreography Session
Okay, so Kim claims to have 16 years' experience of ballet, tap, and jazz, but she can't handle a simple routine of walking, pointing at your ring finger, and shaking your tush? Seriously? While her choreographer — gosh bless him — and his assistant demonstrate the dance for her, she's rolling around on the floor, checking out her pedi. She's right about one thing though: Kim's definitely a better dancer than she is a singer. Hands down.

4. Phaedra and Her Mom Have a "Mm-hmm" Party
When Dwight has a massive amount of fruits and veggies delivered to Phaedra — and we're talking massive, like loads and loads — Phaedra and her mother go off on an insane overdose of Mm-hmm-ing. We don't know which was more ridiculous, the 200th Mm-hmm or the fact that the food delivery could have fed Rhode Island.

3. Shereé Gets an Agent
Um, really? Sorry, but that audition last week was absurdly awful. NeNe nailed it: This isn't Hollywood, it's Atlanta... and Shereé is a name, so... but wow. This woman cannot act.

2. Kim Mows Down Pizza During Fat-Zapping Treatment
This scene was just top-notch ridiculousness from start to finish. From the fact that Kim invited a trio of ladies to essentially just sit there in a row and watch her get lasered, to poor Brielle having to deliver pizza and mozzarella sticks to her crazy mother and friends, we didn't know what to make of this insane display. But, then, how does Kim actually lie there pigging out while she's supposedly getting skinny? More importantly, how can we get our hands on one of these magic machines?

1. Cynthia Presents NeNe with a Friend Contract
A-ha! Now we know for sure that Cynthia does belong on this show after all. To be blunt, bitch is crazy. Let's forget the absurdness of the whole do-you-like-me-circle-yes-or-no situation and focus on the scarier elements, not to mention sheer irony, of Cynthia's "friend contract."

First off, isn't this the same woman who's broken off three engagements? You know, the girl with the commitment issues? Suddenly she's willing to make an year-long commitment with a girlfriend. Something's off here. Next, we're not sure she was kidding about the whole notarized note signed by Obama to end the contract. What's more, that bit about "in case one of us is suddenly killed" was rather alarming, no? If we were NeNe, we'd be looking to sign a different type of documentation... restraining order.

Related links:
Recap of The Real Housewives of Atlanta Episode 3.11: "Contract Player"
Top 10 Quotes from The Real Housewives of Atlanta Episode 3.11: "Contract Player"