It’s cheeseburger time with our Real Housewives of Orange County Season 8, Episode 12 recap, as Lydia’s salsa party gets tense. So grab your porn star girlfriend, put on your fake (depressed) mustache, and get ready for some bickerments.

Shipments and Shipping Out

The episode begins with two pairs of ladies trying to put their issues behind them. Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Barney meet up to see the shipments of their new wine  we love Tamra's label, "Too Good To Throw"!  while Heather Dubrow meets with Alexis Bellino to maintain some civility. Heather and Alexis agree to say to hi to one another from now on, but Alexis was hoping Heather would take more responsibility for their feud. 

Gretchen meets up with her mom Brenda and lets her know that she and Slade might be thinking about marriage and kids down the road. For a second, Brenda's head looks about ready to explode, but then she surprises us by telling Gretchen that she now likes what she sees in Slade. Phew.

Vicki meets up with Briana and Ryan on Ryan's last night in Orange County before he heads to a different Marine base and then ships out to Afghanistan. Vicki is shocked when Ryan says that people from his company were killed during their last tour of duty, and Briana is especially emotional about having to watch Ryan leave. We're wishing you the best, Ryan!


Dancing with the Enemy

Now, the ladies are all headed to Lydia and Doug's salsa party. Heather and Terry inexplicably decide to invite Vicki's on-again, off-again boyfriend Brooks to the party — but they apparently neglect to give Vicki a heads-up, which is odd.

Everyone arrives, and they're all greeted by a fabulous-looking Lydia and a fake mustache-wearing Doug. They start to joke around — with Slade telling Terry about "hanging out" with Lauri in the past (TMI!) — but tension soon arises when Slade softly tells Gretchen that he plans to call Lydia "Cheeseburger" because she could use a big meal. Slade claims he was saying it to Gretchen and Lydia, but Lydia accuses him of being sneaky.

More tension builds when Brooks pops up, completely surprising Vicki — although we must admit that him bringing her flowers was a nice touch. And because Lauri is there, you know there's going to be gossip — which there is, as Lauri tells Tamra that Brooks is dating her daughter's friend, who is a stripper/porn star/unprintable job. Stay classy, Brooks.

The group (briefly) has some fun dancing before they're at it again, with Lydia confronting Slade by saying that his "Miss Piggy" comment led to Vicki getting a nose job. Slade maintains that he was just pointing out what other people were saying about Vicki, but Lydia says Slade isn't taking ownership for his actions. Obviously, Grethcen does not appreciate this. Yikes.

To Shop or Not To Shop

Tamra begins planning her shopping outing for her wedding dress, and Gretchen is shocked that she's planning to invite Alexis. Gretchen tells Tamra that she might not show up for the shopping trip if Alexis is there, leading Tamra to think that Gretchen just thinks about herself. Sounds like trouble in paradise for Tam and Gretch.

So what did we think of the episode? It was definitely a fascinating one, as Vicki and Tamra grow closer, while Gretchen drifts further apart from both Lydia and Tamra. We never thought we'd see Alexis and Tamra patching things up, but it looks like it might happen. In fact, we've been quite impressed with Tamra recently. Also, the less time spent thinking about these new rumors about Brooks and his younger "gal pal," the better.

Will Gretchen join the ladies for the dress shopping next week? We can't wait to find out! In the meantime, we're suddenly in the mood for a cheeseburger (although we're pretty much always in the mood for a cheeseburger).