It's the 100th episode special of Real Housewives of Orange County, which means a lot of stressful memories! So put on your Sky top, autograph someone's breast, and hop in a family van.
Show Me the Rolex
Indeed, it's hard for us to believe that the show has already been on the air for 100 episodes and eight seasons. We hear about the origins of the show, with Vicki Gunvalson's son Michael having hoped that the show would be about him and his friends. Sorry, Mike!
Slade Smiley talks about having bid for a spot on the show at a charity auction. He also admits that he looked like a "douche" on the first episode, with his facial peel and sit-ups. At least you said it and we didn't have to, Slade!
We hear about what it's like for the existing cast members to welcome new ladies to the show. Lynne Curtin says Vicki is the hardest Housewife for new ladies to win over. Sure enough, Vicki confirms, "I hate new girls." Way to keep an open mind, Vick!
Alexis Bellino agrees that Gretchen Rossi was hazed more during her first season than she herself was. And clearly, Gretchen has strong opinions to this day about Vicki, as she calls Vicki "the most wackadoodle person." As soon as we can grab a dictionary, we'll let you know exactly what "wackadoodle" means.
Wax On, Wax Off
Vicki does, however, have a fondness for Heather Bellino, saying that Heather brought class back to the show. And Tamra Barney agrees, saying Heather — whom she says is smart and has "real money" — is "everything Alexis wants to be and isn’t." Let's hope a comment like that doesn't set back Tamra and Alexis's recent progress!
We hear about the ladies who are no longer on the show, like Jo, who says she never fit in with the extravagant lifestyles and is embarrassed that she did so many sexy things on the show. And Vicki says things fell apart between herself and Jeana Keough because she doesn't think her friends should mess with her friends or her money.
Then, we see the wild fights over the years, including the OC Angels brawl from Season 2, the "naked-wasted" episode between Tamra and Gretchen — which Andy Cohen calls "sinister" — and the tossed-wine scene between Tamra and Jeana. Tamra admits now that she was freaked about maybe getting arrested for attacking Jeana.
We can't imagine having to choose the most over-the-top moment on the show, but for Gretchen, it's the '80s Bunco party fight with Vicki. Gretchen calls it "probably the worst fight I've ever gotten in" and an "out-of-body experience." Still, if anyone can pull off crimped hair, it's Gretchen!
Break-Ups and Takedowns
It's now time to address the sad truth about the show: A lot of these romances haven't gone the distance. So we reach for the Kleenex as we see Jo De La Rosa and Slade's couch break-up. Slade says the cameras allowed him to see who Jo really was, while Jo accuses Gretchen of violating "girl code" for getting with Slade, whom Gretchen met through Jo. And what's more sacred than "girl code"?!
There was a time when the kids seemed more out-of-control than their moms — no easy task! — with Kara calling her mom a "dirty whore," Ryan getting some serious tats, and Shane doing scary things with a water bottle. Tamra now says she has no regrets about showing Simon and Ryan's relationship, as she thinks Simon was doing his best with Ryan. Meanwhile, Kara says she misses being on the show. We miss you, too, Kara!
The ladies all admit to dreading and despising the reunion shows, with Tamra and Slade both saying that their least favorite reunion was Season 6, where the two of them went at it. We also see Jo being asked at a reunion about hooking up with Shane Keough. She now demurs on the subject, making it seem quite likely that Jo had a fling with Jeana's smokin' hot son! Way to go, Jo.
Luckily, at the end of the special, all of the ladies agree that they're glad to still be on the show — and we're glad to have them. Let's just be glad they keep the Sky tops to a minimum.