This week's drama is music to our ears on this week's Real Housewives of Orange County recap of Season 8, Episode 16. So go make an eight-figure offer on someone's house, draw some stick figures, and be easy on your teabag!
Raise the Roof
The ladies are back from Whistler, and Gretchen Rossi is filling Slade Smiley in on all the drama. Gretchen is bothered by the tension that she's having with both Tamra Barney and Heather Dubrow, but Slade isn't surprised by it. But really, is anyone surprised when any of these ladies have drama?
Terry takes Heather to the vacant lot in Newport that he just bought without her knowledge. Surprise! Heather is worried that the kids will be bothered by the move, but then we realize they have a big reason to sell their current house. Or should we say, they have more than 16 million reasons to sell it. Plus, who can live in a house with ceilings that are lower than 35 feet?! It's inhumane, clearly.
Tamra is miffed that Eddie Judge still has yet to set a wedding date, so she takes the none-too-subtle approach by asking him during dinner what the hold-up is. He says he's too busy to plan it, but he does want her to find a wedding planner. And then Eddie makes it sound like he doesn't have any issue with setting a date (uh, okay), so they arbitrarily choose June 22. Setting the date was a piece of cake! (Get it — "cake"? As in wedding cake?)
To Tweet or Not to Tweet
The biggest drama of the episode comes when Gretchen and Alexis Bellino sit down to try to iron out their issues. Sadly, neither one of them seems willing to acknowledge their role in the drama, and neither one really seems to want to be friends. Gretchen is annoyed that Alexis hasn't reached out about Slade's son Grayson, although Alexis feels that her tweets show she cared. They agree to disagree.
Lydia McLaughlin is understandably feeling not-so-wholesome after all the threesome talk and drinking of the Whistler trip, so she throws a party for her Christian reading group, which she calls a Life Group. Lydia's friends may not agree that Lydia's quirkiness is doing much to save the world, but we think Lydia's positivity is definitely appreciated! Plus, Lydia can buy a cake like nobody's business. (Two cake references in one recap? We must be hungry.)
Alexis gets an audition for a TV drama series in which she would play a child psychologist. She gives a cold reading for the producers, who — after hearing her performance — generously say they will keep an "open mind" about the audition. And for some reason she took about an hour in the middle of the audition to draw some stick figures. Way to stay focused, A.
Vicki Gunvalson and Brooks visit the Vicki's Vodka distillery in Napa and sample her bacon vodka, which actually sounds amazing. Bring on the Bloody Piggies! Then, Brooks and Vicki go for dinner, where Brooks says Briana's "parameters" on their relationship are making it too difficult for them. Vicki agrees to talk things over with Briana — but given Bri's comments earlier in the episode, we doubt Vicki should get her hopes up.
Gretchen Sings Slade's Praises
Gretchen is finally ready to propose to Slade, and she apparently wants to do so in song. We think it's a sweet gesture, but we also think it's an interesting choice, given that Gretchen herself doesn't appear to love the sound of her singing voice — and neither do her musical collaborators. Gretchen says she wants the song to make Slade cry, and we think she just might do that — but not for the reason she's hoping for.
So what did we think of the episode? Well, we really feel for Vicki in this episode, since she and Brooks are clearly not on the same page. Like, did you notice that — when asked to assess their relationship — the main thing he emphasized was how much money they were gonna make together? Brooks may have claimed that he wasn't dating any cocktail waitresses, but we're not sure we trust him as easily as Vicki seems to.
Meanwhile, we have little to no hope that Alexis and Gretchen ever patch things up, so we don't even know why they bothered meeting at all. At least Tamra — with the wedding date — and Heather — with the new home — had some good news this week.
We can't wait for next week's drama, but in the meantime, we could use a snack. Anyone else feel like some cake?