It’s the recap of Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Part 3, and things get crazier than ever as Vicki Gunvalson's sometimes-boyfriend Brooks Ayers faces shocking allegations  and Vicki storms off the set! So throw some Good and Plenty, pick some fruit, and feel free to pronounce the word “something” however you please.

Who Wants Fruit? 

The episode kicks off with Heather Dubrow admitting that she and husband Terry have had tough moments, but that no relationship is all about picking fruit, which is an obvious jab at Alexis and Jim Bellino’s scenes this season. 

However, Alexis says that she and Jim have happy moments, like when he throws Good & Plenty at her. Wait — so that’s the most fun-filled moment she can think of? Jim throwing food at her? Then again, if we had Good & Plenty in our home, we’d want to throw it on the ground, too — because that candy is terrible. Seriously, it's so gross.

Next, Vicki’s daughter Briana arrives, as she and Lydia go at it over Ryan’s reaction to Lydia’s mom putting her feet on Vicki’s couch. Briana says she doesn’t want to discuss the incident, but then she says she had to scrub wine and mud off the couch after the party  and Lydia doesn’t appreciate the remark. The lesson learned: When you put your feet on Vicki’s couch, make sure you’re going socks-only.

Vicki Vanishes 

Things get especially intense when talk turns to Vicki’s relationship with Brooks. The other Housewives worry that Brooks has gotten physical with Vicki, although Vick claims he hasn’t. When Briana says Brooks talked to her about the size of his “woo-hoo” (so to speak), Vicki storms off the set and says she’s done. Apparently, rumors about genital-related convos are off-limits.

Vicki rejoins the group when Brooks drops by. And right off the bat, Brooks apologizes to Briana for an email he sent to Vicki back in 2007. Briana claims he asked Vicki to leave Donn in the email, although Brooks denies that. But he does say that he and Vicki “crossed the line” in their relationship, which sounds an awful lot like he’s admitting that Vicki cheated on Donn with him. Yikes.

But what Briana really wants to chat about is a conversation Brooks had with Ryan two years ago in which Briana says Brooks told Ryan to hit her to keep her in line. Briana — who points out that she was abused when she was younger — says that Ryan surreptitiously recorded the conversation on his phone and that she listened to Brooks’s conversation repeatedly. Vicki says she has yet to listen to the recording, even though Brooks wants her to.

Brooks admits to having said those things while he was drunk and he apologizes for it, but Briana says she doesn’t believe his apology. Then, Briana says Brooks called Vicki fat and ugly in text messages, and that he told Briana that he’s known as “Girth Brooks.” Kinda gives a whole new meaning to having friends in low places, no?

Brooks Says Goodbye 

Tamra Barney says she feels that Vicki has become weak since starting her relationship with Brooks, and Vicki ultimately says that she and Brooks are done. Gretchen is worried that she’s just saying that, which leads Vicki to bring up the fact that “the whole world” disliked Slade until they all saw that he made Gretchen happy. Needless to say, Gretchen didn’t love the “whole world” comment, even though Vicki meant it in a favorable way. We think.

Finally, Brooks wishes Vicki luck and leaves the stage. Vicki then bawling starts bawling, and so the other ladies comfort her and tell her how strong she is. Vicki says she hates her life and wants her family back together. Wow.

And so this three-part reunion was more shocking than we could have imagined, with the ladies going at each other’s throats but ultimately remaining optimistic. And here are our hopes for the off-season: We want Vicki to find a new man, we want Tamra and Gretchen to put their differences aside, and we want Slade and Gretchen to plan an amazing wedding to prove all the haters wrong. That’s all not too much to ask, right??

In the meantime, we could use a snack. Anything but Good & Plenty.