To put a stripper's boob in your mouth, or not to put a stripper's boob in your mouth — that is the question. In our recap of Real Housewives of Orange County star Tamra Barney's wedding special — Tamra's OC Wedding Episode 1 — we see Tamra and fiance Eddie argue about what happened with him and the stripper. So put on your $6,000 shoes, grab some Gummi bears, and watch a kangaroo boxing match!
Not a Fan of Flowers
The episode begins with Tamra learning that the gorgeous St. Regis hotel has an opening for her wedding, but it's only five weeks away. Gulp! Tamra and her "man of honor" Ricky join wedding planner Diann on a tour of the place, with Diann suggesting that they hire six harpists for the ceremony. Uh, do you really need six? Are there even six different people who know how to play harp in this country?
Heather meets with Heather to tell her she's a bridesmaid, and when Heather hears the news, she seems thrilled but also a little shocked. Then, Tamra and Vicki go on a cake tasting — for a $2,500 cake! — where Vicki tells Tamra she'll "look like an ass" if she tries to say her vows in Spanish. Tamra then tells Vicki that she's a bridesmaid, too. Vicki shockingly does not say "woo hoo," but you know she was thinking about it.
Tamra meets with wedding planner Diann again, and Diann is shocked that Tamra has so few ideas for her own wedding. On a side note, we think a Gummi bear cake sounds awesome, but that's just us. But all Tamra really knows is that Diann shouldn't tell Eddie about the $6,000 shoes Tamra wants to wear. We know what you're thinking: "$6,000 for shoes? What's the catch?"
Eddie Isn't on Team Gretchen
Then, we see why Tamra doesn't want Eddie to know about those shoes, since he nearly passes out when he sees the extravagant invitations. When he learns that the food will cost $100 a head — which cause another near-faint for Eddie — he tries to eliminate guests, namely Gretchen Rossi and Alexis Bellino. Tamra says she wants Gretchen there, but she admits that they aren't currently speaking.
Then, it's time for Tamra, Eddie, and Eddie's hideous jacket to head join the wedding party in Las Vegas. They party in their ridiculously spacious hotel room, where Tamra tells Heather that her ex-husband Simon is calling her a bad mother for leaving their kids with her mother. Luckily, Heather is there to life her spirits. And we're sure the "champs" doesn't help either.
During a swanky dinner where Tamra admits to having watched kangaroos box after her first wedding (sounds kind of awesome, no?), Eddie leaves the table when he hears more details about Tamra's first bachelorette party with the other Housewives in Mexico. Eddie feels like the details keep changing about what Tamra actually did with those strippers. Can't Eddie just accept that Tamra's night in Mexico was terrible and leave it at that?
Little Drummer Boy
It's time for the two of them to part ways for their respective nights of debauchery. Tamra does surprisingly well at the craps table, while the guys take Eddie to a strip club. But at the casino, Tamra happens to glimpse photos of Eddie partying with a stripper, so she decides to break up the party. We can't say we blame her!
The guys have moved to a hotel room, where Eddie is definitely enjoying himself, and even plays the stripper's backside like a set of bongo drums. Way to keep it classy, dude. Suddenly, the ladies bust in, as Terry apparently texted their location to Heather. Tamra is furious that Eddie seemed to have the stripper's boob in his mouth — not to mention that he currently is, uh, "excited" about his night (if you get our not-too-subtle drift). Nice going, Terry!
The next day, things are noticeably frosty between Tamra and Eddie, but they resolve to always be honest with each other, and Eddie promises not to spend any more time at strip clubs. Good call. Then again, Eddie didn't say anything about not playing strange women's butts like bongo drums, but we'll assume that's off-limits as well.
And so Tamra's wedding planning process is off to a bumpy start, since we think Eddie did go a little too far with the stripper. However, we loved seeing Tamra's Housewives pals get so excited about helping her out. And we can't wait to see what happens next week when Tamra and Gretchen try to talk things out. In the meantime, we could use a snack. Pass the Gummi bears, Eddie!