The only tough thing about choosing the 10 craziest quotes from any given episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is narrowing it down to just 10! Here are our picks for the best quotes from this week’s episode, Season 4, Episode 13: "The Curse of Carlton."

10. Carlton Gebbia [to David Foster]: "We’re not f—king hens." 

Carlton cries fowl.

9. Lisa Vanderpump: "I am not sliding up and down the pole  any pole, for that matter." 

Ken won't be thrilled to hear this.

8. Joyce Giraud: "Since there’s other people’s DNA in there, I’m not gonna jump in there."

But that's what chlorine is for, right?

7. Carlton Gebbia [about Kyle asking if her tattoo is a Jewish star]: "Really? Are you fking kidding me?"

Carlton clearly does not believe there's no such thing as a stupid question.

6. Kyle Richards [about Carlton's party-planning skills]: "I won’t be asking her help with the bat mitzvah though."

So there won't be a stripper pole in the temple?

5. Lisa Vanderpump [about the pool party]: "Everybody else has got lots of bits hanging out."

Don't sell your own bits short, Lisa.

4. Carlton Gebbia [about what's in the Hustler gift bag]: "Nothing that chips your teeth."

As we've seen before on this show, these ladies have enough sex toys as it is.

3. Kim Richards [about Jimmy McNichol]: "He grabbed my ass  rawr!"

Easy, tiger.

2. Lisa Vanderpump [about Ken]: "Let's be clear here: After 30 years, nothing’s dripping down his stomach."

It's probably for the best that their relationship is only figuratively on fire.

1. Brandi Glanville: "I think Carlton may have just put a spell or a hex on Joyce  fingers crossed." 

Brandi is hoping for the worst.