The only tough thing about choosing the 10 craziest quotes from any given episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is narrowing it down to just 10! Here are our picks for the best quotes from this week’s episode, Season 4, Episode 14: "The Birthday Witch."

10. Joyce Giraud [to Carlton]: “I haven’t been flippanty.”

That’s true, but mostly because that word doesn’t exist.

9. Kyle Richards [about Brandi and J.R.]: “They’re going to have sex in the bathroom that’s how they met.”

Ah, the memories.

8. Lisa Vanderpump: “Ken wants it all the time, let’s be honest. But it is his birthday, so I will make an allowance.”

Lisa is sticking to her “only birthdays and Christmas” rule.

7. Carlton Gebbia: “Stop saying fking ‘her’ say ‘Carlton.’”

Say my name, say my name.

6. Brandi Glanville [finishing Kyle’s toast]: “So everyone get the fk out.”

Kyle’s like, “Thanks so much for your input, Brandi.”

5. Kyle Richards [to Carlton]: “Obviously, you’re anti-Semitic.”

Kyle offers her assessment of Carlton.

4. Kim Richards [on where she wants her tattoo]: “On my ass.”

Kim gets cheeky.

3. Lisa Vanderpump [about wedding planner Kevin Lee]: “I think, really, it was probably Kevin’s fantasy to be thrown over Jax’s shoulder, swim off into the sunset.”

Don’t tell Stassi Schroeder.  

2. Brandi Glanville [about the dinner party drama]: “At least there’s no spells.”

Brandi focuses on the silver lining.

1. Kyle Richards: “If you don’t want to be judged for being a Wiccan, then don’t act like a witch.”

Kyle offers a little friendly advice.