The only tough thing about choosing the 10 craziest quotes from any given episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is narrowing it down to just 10! Here are our picks for the best quotes from this week’s episode, Season 4, Episode 15: "Trail of Doubts."

10. Joyce Giraud: “I had a turkey that I would sing to and go gobble-gobble.”

Sounds like quite a duet partner.  

9. Lisa Vanderpump [about her 31st wedding anniversary]: “There’s people who’ve been married 31 times.”

That’s an awful lot of cake.

8. Carlton Gebbia [about her family]: “Yes, we have made a ton of fking money.”

Are you also extremely modest, too?

7. Brandi Glanville [about Kyle calling Lisa a chess player]: “I was like, ‘Who the fk is Bobby Fischer?’ I googled it.”

Apparently, this show is educational.

6. Joyce Giraud [to her trainer]: “That looks like you’re gonna S&M me.”

That would involve a very different type of cardio workout.

5. Lisa Vanderpump: “There should be a planet for ex-wives just sayin’.”

We’re sure NASA will get right on this.

4. Carlton Gebbia: “Don’t let me get my cat o’ nine tails.”

Carlton knows how to make any business party more interesting.

3. Kim Richards [mocking Lisa]: “I was in Wisconsin.”

Maybe Kim really likes cheese?

2. Kyle Richards: “Unless you’re kissing Lisa’s ass, she doesn’t like it.”

Come to think of it, having someone kiss your ass sounds pretty nice.  

1. Brandi Glanville [about Scheana]: “The only thing we have in common is we shared my husband’s penis for a hot fking second.”

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