The only tough thing about choosing the 10 craziest quotes from any given episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is narrowing it down to 10! Here are our picks for the best quotes from this week’s episode, “The Opposite of Relaxation.”
10. Kim needs to work on her excuses a bit.
Kim [as to why she was late]: I’ve been busy doing things.
9. Adrienne has a weird way of thanking people for cooking lessons.
Adrienne [to Lisa]: If you don’t watch it, something will be stuck up your bottom.
8. You’re only as old as you feel — right, Mohamed?
Lisa: He actually thinks of Pandora as like his goddaughter — it’s ironic because she’s actually the same age as his girlfriend.
7. Kim explains what a trampoline sounds like, in case you didn’t know.
Kim: Bounce, bounce-bounce, bounce-bounce.
6. We’re assuming that wasn’t actually an option.
Brandi: When Adrienne invited me to the spa day, I thought, “Oh my gosh, I’d rather break my other leg than come to your house and hang out with Kim and Kyle.”
5. Actually, we’re guessing some of these women wouldn’t mind if it hits her.
Lisa [about Brandi leaving]: Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
4. Sewers can’t be that bad, if they’re good enough for the Ninja Turtles.
Kim: I don’t think she’s got a pretty mouth. La-la-la-la. Ugly, ugly, dirty mouth — like a sewer.
3. There must be better ways to prove you’re a good person than telling someone to “f**k off.”
Brandi: I know I’m a good person, and if they don’t want to see that side of me, then they can f**k off.
2. We hope Adrienne is more familiar with turning on Paul than turning on her oven.
Lisa: I hope that she knows her way around the bedroom better than she does around the kitchen, for Paul’s sake.
1. At this rate, Brandi will soon have more broken bones than Johnny Knoxville.
Kim [about Brandi]: All I can tell you is, she’ll end up with two broken legs.