The only tough thing about choosing the 10 craziest quotes from any given episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is narrowing it down to 10! Here are our picks for the best quotes from this week’s episode, “A Book, a Bachelorette, and a Breakdown.”
10. Lisa Vanderpump finds a loophole!
Lisa [about the Chippendales dancer named Ken]: “Ken”? Oh, well — that’s okay then!
9. Uh, we really don’t want to know.
Lisa [about the “sock”]: You know, I haven’t seen something like that in years — you know Ken doesn’t wear his c*ck sock around.
8. C’mon Kyle — don’t jinx this party, too!
Kyle Richards [about the white party]: We have a lot of evil people coming.
7. After seeing Lisa’s lap dance, we’re guessing we know the answer to this.
Lisa: One minute, we’re shopping for wedding dresses, and the next minute we’re going to Vegas, shopping for naked men at the bachelorette party. Now let me think — which do I prefer?
6. In other words, off the charts!
Lisa [to Taylor Armstrong, about Brandi Glanville’s party]: I said, “On one to ten, how bad was it?” And [Kyle] said it was more than ten.
5. Not even the Munchkins in the Lollipop Guild are that devoted to candy.
Camille Grammer [about Dana Wilkey’s million-dollar lollipop necklace]: I can think of other things I’d put a million dollars into than a lollipop holder.
4. We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: We love Lisa!
Lisa: What do you think — do I look suitably slutty for the mother of the bride?
3. Lisa has found a new hobby.
Lisa [about the lap-dance contest]: Was it embarrassing? Yes. Do I want to do it again? Yes.
2. Camille tries to make sense of Taylor’s behavior.
Camille: I’ve said before, she was in dire need of an exorcism that evening.
1. Lisa offers her services.
Lisa: So how long did it take to knit your sock? Because I’m good at knitting.