The only tough thing about choosing the 10 craziest quotes from any given episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is narrowing it down to 10! Here are our picks for the best quotes from this week’s episode, Season 3, Episode 11: “Stars and Stripes.”
 
10. We don’t think she’s talking about the food that you get at the ballpark.
Kyle Richards [about oysters]: I don’t like slimy, squishy things that are in that shape. I’d rather have a hot dog.

9. We don’t remember the story of Christmas involving strippers, but that’s just us.
Brandi Glanville’s stripping instructor [about Brandi on the pole]: Hello, Merry Christmas!

8. This is the last time Marisa lets her mom help her pack.
Marisa Zanuck’s mom, Gayle: That’s a boondock type of dress.

7. For the first time ever, Lisa wishes she were Mrs. Kelsey Grammer.
Camille Grammer [about sex during her marriage to Kelsey]: There would be times when months would go by.
Lisa Vanderpump: Oh, you lucky thing!

6. The more things change...
Brandi [about her taste in fashion]: At least I never changed since I was 19 I’m still a hoochie.

5. Nothing gets by Kim.
Kim Richards [about her surgeon]: I know he knows about noses. [Realizing what she said] I know he knows about noses.

4. We’ll never look at Mauricio’s real estate agency the same way again.
Lisa [about Kyle’s lady parts]: Yeah, but why would it have a “for sale” sign on it as well?

3. Brandi has a different meaning of the word “pole.”
Brandi: I want a pole to give my body over to like, a real one.

2. You don’t want to know what they’ll do if you throw in a pair of shoes, too.
Yolanda Foster [about Beverly Hills gold diggers]: They’ll f**k your husband for a Chanel bag.

1. Ken learned this the hard way (so to speak).
Lisa: I’m not good at swallowing things just ask my husband.