The only tough thing about choosing the 10 craziest quotes from any given episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is narrowing it down to 10! Here are our picks for the best quotes from this week’s episode, Season 3, Episode 2: “The Higher the Heel, the Closer to God.”
10. We doubt Lisa wants an animal that she can’t carry around like Giggy.
Kyle Richards: When Lisa has her first housewarming party, I’m bringing an elephant — and no pooper scooper.
9. Mauricio is toning down his competitive side just this once.
Mauricio: I hope Paul does better than me in heels. [Laughs] This is not one I need to win.
8. Kyle may have made a promise that she can’t keep.
Kyle: My daughter is really expecting a unicorn.
7. Way to prove you’re not a stage mom, Yolanda.
Yolanda Foster: Would you round Gigi’s eyes a little bit on the side because of her eyebrows — because it makes her look Chinese really quick.
6. Perhaps this means Portia is looking forward to the next Phish tour?
Kyle [about Portia not wearing shoes]: She’s a hippie!
5. You learn something new every day — not necessarily something pleasant.
Kyle: I never knew unicorns pooped.
4. Brandi is thinking ahead.
Brandi Glanville: There is a net on the pool, so if I push someone...
3. We’re sure Portia can talk some sense into the ladies.
Kyle: It’s annoying to me that all the adults here are acting more childish than Portia and her friends.
2. Brandi thinks there’s more than one Taylor.
Brandi [about Taylor Armstrong]: Is she one person, or is she eight people? She has a lot of personalities.
1. Weapon of (m)ass destruction.
Kyle: I’m really proud that Mauricio offered to be there for Taylor, but if he doesn’t make it back in time for Portia’s party, that high heel is gonna be right up his ass.