It’s back to the U.S. on RHoBH  and time to party! On this week’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 3, Episode 17, Yolanda Foster and Taylor Armstrong butt heads in a major way  and Kyle Richards is concerned for Kim Richards. It’s time for the recap, so grab your giant scissors, get a quickie tan, and buy your friend a pair of shoes!

Brandi Puts Her Best Foot Forward

At the start of the episode, “No Business Like Clothes Business,” the ladies wrap up their time in Paris with a relaxing trip down the Seine. At least, it’s relaxing until Lisa and Kim start to go at it a bit. Clearly, these two are not on the best of terms after Lisa Vanderpump’s jabs about Kim’s sleeping schedule last week.

The ladies go out to dinner, and Yolanda surprises Brandi Glanville with a pair of shoes. How come our friends never give us new shoes for no reason? Kim thanks everyone for their support, and Brandi makes a surprisingly heartfelt speech about how the best part of the trip was getting to hang out with Kim. Wait — Brandi is capable of making us cry for a positive reason? Who knew!

Back in Beverly Hills, Lisa has begrudgingly gone along with Ken’s plan to renew their vows. So she meets up with quite possibly our all-time favorite supporting character on the show: party planner Kevin Lee! Chi-chi-chi, darling.

Kevin wants to plan another million-dollar event — as he always does — but Lisa wants to show restraint and only invite 60 or 70 people. Kevin practically faints at the thought — Kevin does not do restraint — but they compromise by planning a huge heart-shaped arch. Because who doesn’t have a huge heart-shaped arch in their backyard?

Feeling Queasy

Kyle is preparing for the grand opening of her clothing boutique by looking at plenty of fab outfits for the store  not to mention one that apparently resembles the Cookie Monster. In answer to your question, Kyle: Yes, we would like a cookie. (In fact, our answer to that question is always yes, FYI.)

Yolanda is stressing out about finding an outfit for a photo shoot with David  see, being a model is hard work!  although all David wants to do at the shoot is get grabby. Control yourself, buddy! Meanwhile, Marisa Zanuck meets with Mauricio Umansky to discuss putting her family’s home on the market.

And speaking of familiar faces, we get another wacky blast from the past as Taylor sits down with Dana Wilkey for a drink  or several, in Dana’s case. Dana has gone through a tough split from her wealthy fiance, and Taylor is worried about Dana’s drinking. Meanwhile, all Dana seems focused on is the fact that she’s “getting laid,” to use her words. Get it, girl.

Dana and Brandi had beef last season  during the infamous “expensive sunglasses” episode  after Brandi suggested Dana’s fiance might be cheating on her, and Dana now admits Brandi was correct. However, Dana and Brandi still aren’t besties, as Dana says “I hate that bitch” and says that Brandi makes her puke. No, Dana is not one for subtlety.

An Apple a Day

It’s time for Kyle’s boutique opening, although Kyle is freaking out with nerves about it  and the near-accident her driver almost gets in on the way there doesn’t help. Also not helping is the fact that Kim calls to say she’s first squeezing in a quick tanning session. Apparently, Kim’s motto is to make every minute count.

The ladies start to arrive, including Yolanda and Taylor, who still have issues. Yolanda tried to speak to Taylor two weeks ago regarding her comments about David, and now Taylor is ready to talk. She realizes now that David is a good person and she shouldn’t have said anything negative about him. That’s that, right?

Uh, not exactly. Yolanda is clearly steamed about what Taylor said, so she doesn’t let her off the hook that easily. Yolanda says she hopes Taylor learned a lesson from this  and then she even compares Taylor to a rotten apple. Ouch! And here we assumed the only fruit Yolanda ever thinks about are lemons.

These Scissors Aren’t Messing Around

The boutique party goes really well, as Kyle cuts the ribbon with a pair of oversized scissors that look like they were borrowed from the set of the new film Jack the Giant Slayer. And surprisingly, Brandi and Adrienne Maloof are able to stay in the same room without bickering  although they do keep their distance, which is probably advisable.

However, Kyle is still concerned about Kim’s odd behavior of late, so she pulls Kim aside. Kim admits that she slept for two straight days after Paris before realizing she had mistakenly been taking a medication which had given her seizures. Talk about scary.

Kyle says it’s hard to trust Kim and tells her she worries that Kim will turn up dead. Kim then says she herself has thought that she might die and that she’d be okay with it, and she admits that something bad could still happen. Yikes. We’re really wishing the best for Kim, but this conversation is definitely unsettling.

So what did we think of the episode? Well, we admit that we love Yolanda, and even though she might have lectured Taylo a little too much about her comments, Yolanda definitely has a way of putting an end to drama before it gets out of hand. And don’t worry, Yolanda — we love your hair with curls, even if David doesn’t.

We loved seeing crazy Kevin this week (more of him, please!), and even Dana was fun to watch this week, although we want things to get more stable for her. We’re also hoping Kim is telling the truth about being sober, since Kyle seems to be doing all she can. Despite the drama, the Richards sisters’ have a lot of love for each other, so we’re optimistic.

All in all, it was great seeing the ladies back in Beverly Hills, and now we can’t wait for next week’s drama. In the meantime, if anyone needs us, we’ll be installing a heart-shaped arch in our backyard. Little help?