Here comes the bus! Tonight's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 3, Episode 18 was a sad one, with the ladies finding out that Adrienne Maloof and Paul have called it quits. It's time to recap the drama, so grab your dinner plates, shave your legs, and offer someone a hall pass.
And by the way, after watching the stressful episode play out, we could use a massage like the one Brandi Glanville and Lisa Vanderpump got.
Ken Needs a Cold Shower, Stat
Adrienne is throwing a party to celebrate the launch of her new vodka line, and we see her bicker with Paul about which plates to set out. Wait — Paul and Adrienne were bickering about something trivial? First time for everything!
Meanwhile, Brandi and Lisa are preparing for a massage, as Brandi tells Lisa that she thinks Adrienne and Paul's marriage is a business arrangement. Oh, Brandi — you just don't learn, do you?
Thankfully, we get some comic relief as Ken Todd pulls a prank on the two of them by having his buddy Martin take over for the masseuse, with Martin even pinching Brandi's butt. Easy there, Martin — we're not sure how Ken will feel about you getting handsy with his girlfriend.
We also love how Ken wants to test out his new hip with Lisa, but she tells him to wait for their anniversary. Apparently, Ken gets to have sex three different times this year instead of the customary two — and all it takes is a potentially million-dollar vow renewal ceremony. Small price to pay, if you ask us.
The Tree of
At Adrienne's party, some of the ladies comment about Brandi's penchant for flirting with married men. Marisa Zanuck shares a text that Brandi sent her in which she encourages Marisa and her husband each give each other a hall pass to "save" their marriage. Yolanda Foster, however, is there to defend Brandi.
Then, Faye Resnick reveals that two pairs of eyes saw Brandi getting busy in the bathroom at Kyle Richards's White Party. Yolanda again doesn't like that Brandi is getting thrown under the bus — and we learn this because the phrase "under the bus" is used by the ladies about a thousand times. Meanwhile, Adrienne says Brandi has thrown Yolanda under the bus. Long story short: We'll never look at a bus the same way ever again.
By the way, between last year when Kim Richards locked herself in the bathroom, and now this rumor involving Brandi, why is it that the White Party bathroom is always the center of controversy? That bathroom must be one awesome place.
Adrienne is worried that Paul left the party early, but it turns out he's actually getting turned into a tree. No, we've never used that sentence before, and we hope we never have to again. We're just glad he didn't start throwing apples at people like the human-trees in Wizard of Oz do.
Show Off a Little Leg
It's time to roll out the pink carpet as Lisa and Ken are having their party to renew their vows. As they get ready, hilarious party planner Kevin Lee strips down to his undergarments to wade into the pool — while showing off his sexy, smooth legs. Wow — the party hasn't even started yet, and people are already getting naked! Or to put it another way: Shi shi shi.
But things aren't so jolly once the ladies arrive. They have gotten word that Adrienne and Paul are splitting up, and rumors are flying about whether Paul didn't have the right priorities.
Meanwhile, Brandi blames Adrienne for selling stories about her, and then Yolanda decides to approach Marisa about the fact that she discussed Brandi's text at Adrienne's party.
Marisa explains that she was offended by Brandi saying her marriage needed saving. Brandi counters by saying Marisa frequently tells her that she wants a tall, dark guy — which doesn't describe her husband, Dean.
And then, because Faye Resnick has never met a heated argument that she could squeeze her way into, she joins the action. Faye tells Brandi that she contributed to Adrienne and Paul's split by creating stress. Faye even goes as far as asking Brandi how she lives with herself, and says that all the borrowed Chanel in the world couldn't make Brandi into a lady. Yikes.
So what do we make of this latest drama? Well, first and foremost, we feel badly for Adrienne and Paul's split, especially for their kids.
We must say we agree with Yolanda that Marisa should have approached Brandi one-on-one if she was insulted by Brandi's text. We think Brandi's text was kinda funny, but we can understand why Marisa didn't appreciate it.
We also like that Yolanda encouraged Brandi to address the tension with Marisa head-on, although it might not have been the best idea to do so at a party where other people (*cough* Faye) could join in. We get that Faye feels that she needs to stand up for her friend Adrienne, but we just wish Faye could take a chill pill once in a while.
Overall, it was quite a juicy episode for our second-to-last new episode of the season. We can't wait for next week's dramatic finale! In the meantime, we'll be staying far away from buses.