Credit: Evans Vestal Ward/Bravo Photo: Kyle Cries to Lisa in RHOBH Season 2, Episode 19, “Night of a Thousand Surprises”

It’s the launch party for SUR on tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and the surprises keep coming, including uninvited guests, a pregnancy scare, and Brandi Glanville hitting on a random guy. (Okay, so maybe that last one wasn’t all that surprising.) And what’s the most important thing we learned tonight? We learned that, if Kim Richards offers to let you borrow her “pink lip gloss,” don’t take it!

The super-sized episode, “A Night of a Thousand Surprises,” starts with Lisa Vanderpump preparing for the launch party for her newly renovated lounge SUR. The party is starting in only a few hours, but the contractors still have yet to finish their work on the place, as there are ladders as far as the eye can see. (Looks like giving a hug to poor Ken wasn’t on Lisa’s agenda.)

Kim and Ken apparently didn’t get enough of living in hotels in Hawaii, so they’re staying in one near Beverly Hills, where Kim gets her makeup done and preps for the party. Kim confides to her makeup artist that Ken doesn’t have her best interests at heart. At least, we hope that’s what Kim means, since we doubt that anyone would break up with someone just for liking ham on pizza.

Lisa manages to whip SUR into shape in time for the party — not that we ever doubted that she would! — and so the dolled-up guests begin to arrive. This includes Adrienne Maloof’s chef Bernie, who has carried some kind of silly grudge against Lisa all season long. Apparently, he hasn’t made the same kind of indelible impression on her, as she claims to have no idea who he is!

But at least Bernie isn’t given the boot by Lisa. Such is the fate of Scheana Jancan, a waitress at the party who has apparently worked for Lisa for two years but whom Brandi recognizes as someone who slept with her ex-husband while they were still married. Yikes. In other words, we’re guessing this is one waitress whom Brandi won’t be tipping. (Also, we’re guessing that Scheana’s parents are not fans of names that are spelled phonetically.)

Credit: Evans Vestal Ward/Bravo Photo: Lisa Looks Upset in RHOBH Season 2, Episode 19, “Night of a Thousand Surprises”

Another person shown the door is surprise guest Cedric Martinez, Lisa’s former freeloader assistant, who claims to have dropped by to congratulate Lisa. Cedric doesn’t say who invited him to the party, and his onetime-friend Brandi claims to have had nothing to do with it (although we wouldn’t be surprised if a producer from the show encouraged Ced to stir up trouble). Cedric exchanges a few heated words with Ken as he’s asked to leave, which Cedric reluctantly does, but not before giving kisses to everyone within a 100-mile radius. (This isn’t spin-the-bottle — just go already, dude!)

Kim and Ken slowly make their way to the party, as we see them arguing about everything from Kim’s clothes to her medicine. Then, in the limo, she seems loopier than usual, as she professes her love for the limo’s buttons (um, okay); handles someone’s old trash; and then arbitrarily decides to take off her bra because it’s “dirty.” Remember the sexy bra-removal scene in the film Flashdance? This was so not that.

Credit: Evans Vestal Ward/Bravo Photo: Kyle Richards Is in Tears in RHOBH Season 2, Episode 19, “Night of a Thousand Surprises”

Once at the party, Kim — who has been apprehensive about seeing Kyle and hasn’t spoken to her since Hawaii — whispers to Adrienne that she’s planning to move out of Ken’s place. Kim then takes Adrienne into the bathroom and says that Ken is suspicious of her phone calls, adding that she hasn’t been getting much sleep. Adrienne rightfully decides that Kyle should be the one to talk to Kim.

Kyle and Kim finally sit down to talk, as Kim tells Kyle that her bags are already packed, and that much of her time living with Ken has been spent in tears. They debate whether Kyle is overbearing, as Kim says that Kyle expects her to be too “sophisticated,” but Kyle says she just wants to see her happy and wants to spend more time with her, which is why she was upset about the missed flight.

And then Kim has one final bombshell to drop: She might be pregnant! Kyle is shocked as Kim confirms that her period is three months late, but that she’s too afraid to get a pregnancy test. A note to Kim: If we’ve learned anything from the show I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant (and we clearly have), it’s that not knowing about a baby doesn’t actually stop it from coming out. Kyle, meanwhile, can't believe she hasn't taken a pregnancy test yet and suggests that Kim's probably going through menopause.

Credit: Evans Vestal Ward/Bravo Photo: The Ladies Make a Pact in RHOBH Season 2, Episode 19, “Night of a Thousand Surprises”

Taylor Armstrong is the last to arrive at the party, as she gets coached by her therapist on the ride over on how to manage this new phase in her life and how to deal with her friends’ potential reactions. The ladies all seem happy to see her, but Lisa and Kyle can’t help but notice that she’s tried to use makeup to conceal a black eye, which Taylor confirms. Talk about heavy.

Taylor sits down with the ladies and explains that she and Russell had a fight that turned physical, and that this was the last straw in her deciding to leave him. Kyle feels that Taylor doesn’t need to apologize for her recent behavior, but Adrienne and Camille Grammer disagree, as Camille didn’t appreciate the threatening email.

But Taylor apologizes for that, too, and finally — for perhaps the first time this season — the women are all on each other’s team. We even see them put their hands on top of one another’s, sort of like in the opening credits for Saved by the Bell: The New Class. (You can admit to watching Saved by the Bell: The New Class — we’re all friends here.) It's a truly touching scene in what has been a very heavy season.

Unfortunately, the one person who isn’t a part of the c amaraderie is Kim, who has apparently locked herself in the bathroom for some reason, with Ken trying to get her to come out. After what seems like about an hour and many shouts through the door later, she finally comes out.

All in all, it was one heck of a party. Major props go out to Lisa, for holding everything together so well, despite all the unexpected distractions. We’re glad to see Taylor patching things up with her friends, and now we only hope that Kim is similarly able to get her life back on track.

 

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