Kim Richards nose best! In our Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap of Season 3, Episode 11, the ladies head to Vegas, since their previous trips there have gone so well. This episode was also about subpar souffles (don’t you hate when your two souffle batches don’t turn out just right?), oysters, and green slime. Bon appetit!
Sex at 110
The episode, “Stars and Stripes,” begins with Yolanda Foster welcoming Suzanne Somers to her home, along with Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump. Suzanne says she hopes to live to 110, thanks to her magic bag of pills, which help boost sex drive. Lisa says she doesn’t want to picture a person of that age having sex, which we think is sage advice.
Brandi Glanville is preparing to teach her sexy “Night School for Girls” class by meeting with a stripping instructor. The instructor tries to help Brandi get comfortable with her body, but the amount of times that the instructor uses the word “ripple” was not making us particular comfortable.
But soon, Brandi had not trouble strutting her stuff on the pole, and even busted out the splits! Uh, between Kyle and now Brandi, is there anyone on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills who can’t do the splits? Is that like a requirement for living in Beverly Hills or something?
Kyle throws a sixth-grade graduation (!) party for her daughter Sophia, since the ladies on this show only need the slightest reason to throw a party. Still, Sophia is adorable, and it’s sweet to see the grandparents there.
Also in attendance were Adrienne Maloof and Paul, who thanked Faye Resnick for going after Brandi on their behalf at Kyle’s dinner party. This was a bit awkward, and we appreciated Kyle for making it clear that Faye was a bit too harsh at the dinner party, and then for saying that the party’s focus should be on her daughter instead of on the feud. Good call, Kyle.
There’s Nothing Like a Little Mother-Daughter Bonding
It’s time to get ready for Vegas on RHoBH. Brandi’s friend Jennifer helps her pack, as they reminisce on how Brandi has dressed like a “hoochie” of the years. Ah, memories.
But at least Jennifer isn’t nearly as critical as Marisa Zanuck’s mom, who shockingly tells Marisa to throw out her “boondock”-ish wardrobe. Her mom goes on to say how great her own hair looks (uh, okay), and then begs Marisa to invite her to Vegas. Note to Marisa’s mom: Insulting your daughter’s clothes probably isn’t the best way to make her want to spend even more time with you.
After a limo ride filled with the word “penis” (were you expecting otherwise?), the ladies arrive in Vegas and meet for dinner. They down margaritas as Brandi tells Marisa that her husband loves her more than she does, although Marisa says that’s just their “banter.” Then again, after seeing how Marisa’s mom treats Marisa, we can see why Marisa’s thinks insults are a normal part of interacting!
Talk turns to Brandi’s marriage, as it pretty much always seems to do. Brandi says she has a difficult time showing her softer side, although Kyle says she likes that part of her. Brandi and Kyle actually enjoy each other’s company? Shocker alert!
After that, the conversation goes to some pretty wacky places, including tampons and “ba-ginas.” Speaking of sexy topics, the ladies order oysters, and Kyle refuses to try one until Brandi basically forces one down her throat. So much for Brandi’s softer side coming out.
If Your First Souffle Doesn’t Turn Out, Order Pizza Try Again
Yolanda isn’t in Vegas with the women that evening because she’s spending a romantic evening with husband. And Yolanda is doing what most women do during a romantic evening: Cooking multiple batches of souffles for her husband in case one of the batches doesn’t work out. Housewives — they’re just like us.
Yolanda shows up in Vegas the next morning, and if you were saying to yourself, “I wonder how long it will take until Yolanda eats or drinks something bizarre,” the answer was approximately fifteen seconds, as she orders “green slime,” as Lisa calls it. But who doesn’t drink a healthy green juice concoction as soon as they arrive in Vegas?
Back in Beverly Hills, Kim is meeting with a plastic surgeon — but not Paul — to discuss her upcoming nose job. And how did Kim decide to get her nose fixed? Apparently, all the procedures that Kim actually wanted done were nixed by the doctor. (Gotta fix something, right?) Then, Kim makes a bunch of nose-related puns, to prove how seriously she’s taking this.
Finally, Brandi has to speak to the women to explain why this class is important to her, but she has trouble getting the words out. So Brandi is speechless? Now we’ve seen everything!
All in all, the episode was light on drama, but it was nice to see the ladies bonding in Vegas, especially with Brandi and Kyle getting to clear things up. And we’re fascinated to see how Kim’s nose job ends up. In the meantime, we could use a drink — anything but green slime. That's a wrap on our Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2013 recap for this week!