Hide your thumb wrinkles and grab your frilly diaper! In tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we learn that the women are not crazy about sharing rooms, and we also learn too much about Kelsey’s tattoo location. Like, way too much.

Apology Time!

The episode, “Uh Oh, Somebody’s Crying,” begins with the continuation of Adrienne Maloof and Lisa Vanderpumps meeting to put the past behind them. Adrienne admits to Lisa that she should have come to Lisa first to ask her if she was selling stories, rather than confronting her at the reunion. Finally, we’re getting somewhere!

Adrienne then apologizes to Lisa, and Lisa says she accepts. However, Lisa tells us that their relationship will be forever changed due to this, and then Adrienne tells us that she wishes that Lisa had apologized, too. Oy. Either way, we’re breathing a sigh of relief that this meeting didn’t make things worse and that these two seem able to move on. Well done, ladies.

That said, watching Lisa and Adrienne made us so tense that we wanted a glass of pinot like Lisa was drinking. Or maybe the whole bottle.

Brandi’s Literary Agent Gives Her an Honor That Isn’t Exactly Literary

Brandi Glanville meets with her literary agent to discuss her book to help women cope with the pain of divorce. Brandi cracks us up as usual, as she discusses how she used the f-bomb during the book’s pitch meeting, which we assume is probably the same way that Jane Austen behaved at her own literary meetings.

Then, Brandi’s agent tells her that she has the “best titties ever.” Way to keep things professional. And again, we think that Jane Austen could perhaps give Brandi a run for her money there, too.

Kyle Richards takes her daughter Alexia to the DMV to take her permit test for the third time. Gulp. Kyle is wistful and melancholic about Alexia getting to drive that is, until Alexia passes the test and wants to drive the Maserati. Suddenly, Kyle is back to her feisty self, while Alexia proves that when it comes to the speed of her driving she might just be the next Danica Patrick.

They Don’t Care For Sharing

Kim Richards is organizing a weekend getaway for the ladies at Ojai, and we find ourselves wondering, “Does Kim find Ojai to be spiritual?” Oh, wait we didn’t wonder that at all, since Kim used the word “spiritual” in describing Ojai about a bajillion times. Still, we’re very impressed that Kim is actually making an effort to be more social this season and actually seems to be enjoying herself. Go, Kim!

Another sign that Kim has matured? She’s allowing Lisa to bring Brandi Glanville, who isn’t Kim’s favorite person. Lisa and Brandi are late getting to Ojai because Brandi is doing a modeling shoot for a magazine Lisa writes for. Brandi looks really great, although she’s worried about her thumb wrinkles. And we all know that the first thing a guy looks at when he sees a photo of a model is her thumbs.

Oh, and Lisa is a writer? Since when did that happen? We must say, we’re not crazy about how every woman on this show has an endless amount of talent and entrepreneurial ventures, thus making us feel complete inferior. Thanks a lot, ladies.

The other women have now arrived to the resort in Ojai. Their suite is amazing, with beautiful views of the mountains, although the only words we were really paying attention to were “stocked fridge.” (What can we say? A hotel with no overpriced mini bar is a gift from the heavens.)

Of course, all the ladies seem concerned about is the fact that they’ll be sharing rooms, which they’re not thrilled about. Lisa and Brandi finally arrive and are informed that they’ll be sharing the smallest room in the place, which Lisa and Brandi seem to be good sports about. Brandi then pulls out her frilly underwear and shows it off to Lisa, which is a completely normal thing to do.

What Would Frasier Crane Think?

The ladies head to the restaurant along with Yolanda Foster, who also arrived late, due to David’s concert. In the limo, Camille Grammer talks about Kelsey’s new tattoo, which is apparently located close to his, uh, “tossed salad and scrambled eggs,” if you get our drift. Thanks so much for that visual, Camille.

There is a minor dilemma when the ladies realize they don’t know where to sit, and obviously many of them have numerous people whom they wouldn’t be crazy about spending all night next to. At the top of that list is probably Kim and Brandi. Sure enough, they end up sitting across from each other, which Kim says is because of the universe. Damn you, universe!

Shockingly, Brandi and Kim both are on their best behavior and actually seem interested in getting to know the other person. Kyle helps the two of them out by telling Brandi that LeAnn is probably jealous of her, and then Brandi compliments Kim’s daughters. Feel the good vibes!

Another Dinner Party, Another Catastrophe

Brandi is then ready to make amends for how she’s treated Kim in the past. She says that she didn’t mean to judge Kim, since she herself has spent nights alone, drinking and taking Lexapro. She says she feels like she’s in a dark hole at times. Kim admits that she’s been there, in dealing with her empty nest, and then Kim starts tearing up.

This is a really sweet and tender moment right? Well, not so fast. Adrienne comments that Kim is crying, which Adrienne probably shouldn’t have said in quite the tone she used, but at the same, we don’t think Adrienne intended it in a malicious way.

However, Brandi takes great offense on Kim’s behalf, although Kim says that it’s fine. When Adrienne asks what she did wrong, Brandi tells her to “shut the f**k up.” Yikes. And here we are, with another dinner party that is going to make people shiver just by thinking about it. That seems to be this show’s specialty, right?

It’s a shame that tensions escalated so quickly here, since we really were proud of Brandi for opening up about her own flaws and for reaching out to Kim. We can understand why she thought Adrienne’s comment was tacky, but it does feel that Brandi is lashing out at Adrienne for previous tension, not due just to what Adrienne said during dinner.

And so just as several feuds get patched up tonight, another one takes a turn for the worse. Perhaps that’s just the circle of life on this show. Either way, we can’t wait to see how this trip turns out during next week’s episode.

If anyone needs us, we’ll be moisturizing our thumbs.

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