Credit: Evans Vestal Ward/Bravo Photo: Taylor Armstrong Pets a Horse in Season 2, Episode 12: “The Great Divide”

Tonight’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills featured washed-up singers, life-size teddy bears, and wedding invitations that clearly won't fit in the mailbox. The episode, “The Great Divide,” picked up where last week left off, with Camille Grammer continuing to discuss Russell Armstrong’s alleged abuse. Taylor finds this inappropriate, since she had told Camille about these incidents privately, and we’re assuming that means, “not while the cameras were rolling.” Camille then storms out of the tea party (uh, did anyone even drink any tea at this party?), but this time, Paul isn’t at the gate to make awkward chit-chat with her (as he did with Taylor last week).

After Camille leaves, Lisa and Taylor continue to talk things out, and they finally reach a tenuous truce (sort of like a cat and dog that have to live in the same house would reach). For some reason, Kyle wants to drag this thing out all night, saying that the tension didn’t feel resolved. But then Lisa and Taylor pinky-swear to be more open about their feelings, and if a pinky-swear is involved, it must be official, right? (We’re just relieved that Lisa and Taylor didn’t start braiding each other’s hair.)

Next, Kim admits that moving in with boyfriend Ken Blumenfeld hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows (although she probably shouldn’t tell Kyle that, unless she wants a good, old-fashioned “I told you so”). We see Kim and Ken hanging some kind of bridge-shaped sculpture that Kim is convinced is actually a boat.

We also get to hear Kim’s impression of an Arabian horse. Long story short, Kim clearly doesn't know what an Arabian horse is.

Credit: Evans Vestal Ward/Bravo Photo: Adrienne Maloof and Kyle Richards Talk in Season 2, Episode 12: “The Great Divide”

Taylor’s stress as she sets up for Kennedy’s birthday party is proof as to why you shouldn’t throw a 250-person party for a 5-year-old (other than the many, many obvious reasons why you shouldn’t throw a 250-person party for a 5-year-old). Taylor is freaking out that she can’t seem to track down the kids’ tables — but do kids even sit where they’re supposed to anyway? Finally, when someone named Jaime finds them for her, Taylor hugs Jaime as if he had actually found a cure for cancer.

Kim attends the party, although her she might not have if she had known that Brandi would be there. Brandi tries to say hi to Kim, and Kim's brush-off is so frosty that it caused nearby birds to start migrating south. Camille is a no-show at the party, since Taylor says that she has ignored the 500 apologetic texts that Camille has sent her. (Let’s hope Camille has unlimited texting.) We do feel that Camille crossed a line with her comments, although we agree with Adrienne that Taylor shouldn’t have told her friends about the situation if she didn’t want them to be concerned or have an opinion about it. (Then again, when don’t we agree with Adrienne?)

Also MIA from the party is Lisa, who is busy picking out wedding invitations with Pandora and Jason. This means, of course, the return of Kevin Lee, the most cartoonishly hilarious wedding planner we’ve ever seen. (Seriously, how amazing is he?) Somehow, he convinces Pandora to choose these box-shaped invitations that cost more than $100 each (!) by saying something about “Pandora’s box.” Who knew that wordplay could be so persuasive?

 

Credit: Evans Vestal Ward/Bravo Photo: Kim Richards Gives a Thumbs up in Season 2, Episode 12: “The Great Divide”

Lisa is also in the process of planning Pandora’s bachelorette party at the Planet Hollywood in Vegas, which Adrienne and Paul are not happy about, since they’d like Lisa to use their hotel, the Palms. (What are friends for if not for shilling for your multi-million-dollar casino?) Judging from the previews for next week, we’re guessing this tension will explode soon, which means we’re expecting Lisa and Adrienne to soon be needing a pinky-swear truce of their own.

Kennedy's cowboy-hat-filled party is certainly very weird, and it seems to again be more geared towards the adults than the kids. Exhibit A? We only see the parents riding that mechanical bull, which Taylor is so proud of that she mentioned it twice in her list of party activities. Never mind that the bull appears to move about as fast as a rocking chair.

The most awkward moment of the party comes when American Idol cast-off Ace Young (who was on the show about 15 years ago) finishes singing his dentist office-esque birthday tune for Kennedy and then presents Kennedy with a horse, a present from her parents. Given the kind of financial trouble that the Armstrongs were rumored to be in at the time, we have to wonder about this decision.

Then again, calling that the most awkward moment of the day is certainly saying something, since this party was chock-full of them. (For example, could Taylor possibly have been flirting with Ace Young any more blatantly? We think not.) So the episode was all about crazy parties, be they for tea or 5-year-olds. Let's just hope that a lot of the tension that took place this week will end up being water under the bridge. (Or should we say, "water under the boat.")