This week on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we learned that 1. Some people don't like being called a "bitch." Who knew? 2. Unless you’re a plumber, people are going to get suspicious if you make as many bathroom trips as Kim Richards did at Dana’s party. 3. This is clearly not the crowd in which the only food served should be desserts with mile-high frosting.
Season 2, Episode 6, "Let the Games Begin" started off with the new girls processing last week’s turbulent, male genitalia-centric barbeque (which is a sentence we never thought we'd say). Adrienne Maloof tries to convince Brandi Glanville that the other ladies will like her when they get to know her. (A note to Brandi: Don’t hold your breath.) Meanwhile, Taylor Armstrong and Dana Wilkey do some baking in the Armstrong kitchen, and Dana has brought along her own apron. According to Dana, the only thing that really matters when preparing food is protecting your designer duds.
Lisa Vanderpump prepares dinner for her daughter, Pandora; Pandora’s boyfriend, Jason; and Jason’s parents. Jason and Pandora have just returned from NYC, where Jason has finally made an honest woman out of Pandora — and not a moment too soon, if you ask an elated Lisa, who has been awaiting this engagement for years. We also learn that Lisa’s son, Max, has a semi-serious girlfriend as well. But we're not sure if Lisa is ready to be second banana just yet.
Dana offered to host game night, since she has apparently planned the Grammys (although you can color us skeptical). In a prime example of not knowing your audience, Dana prepares a wide array of delicious-looking desserts that no one wants to touch. (Bring on the breadsticks!)
Kim is distraught from the moment she arrives, inexplicably referring to Dana as “Pam,” and then retreating to the bathroom, where she confides in Kyle Richards that she’s been having a nervous breakdown and hasn’t eaten or slept in seven days. Evidently she’s been subsisting on giant frappuccinos with mounds of whipped cream. (Guests at Dana’s game night will tell you that anything with a sugary topping is not a suitable food source.)
The women are divided into teams for a game that seems to be charades with words. One team is comprised of Kim, Kyle, and Brandi; immediately, Kim says that she doesn’t want to be on Brandi’s team. In other words, there hasn’t been a game this tense since the U.S. hockey team played Russia for the Olympic gold medal during the Cold War.
Kim keeps running to the bathroom, and Brandi attempts to bring it to the others’ attention to it. However, Dana is firmly on Team Richards, and Camille Grammer learned her lesson last year and is playing the it’s-not-my-business card.
Things were unpleasant all night, but the situation got out of hand when Kyle made a joke about the friendly game turning into an IQ test for Brandi. Brandi then “playfully” called Kyle a bitch. When using a word like “insecure” or “offended” can be seen as going too far, you better believe that Kyle wasn’t going to laugh that one off. Then Brandi pointed out that Kim and Kyle had spent all night in the bathroom; the sisters lost it and Kyle brought up Brandi’s slut comment from the barbeque, and Kim insulted Brandi's cutoff shorts (which, evidently, were not Valentino). While their comments may have gone too far, it was kind of amusing to watch Kyle and Kim pointed their index fingers at Brandi at the exact same time, though. Ah, sisters.
No one knew quite what to do except Dana, who occasionally piped up with an awkward remark or buried her head against Taylor.
So long story short, Kyle and Kim are not exactly besties with Brandi. Meanwhile, all this stress has made us a bit hungry, and we could use a snack. (We’re pretty sure Dana still has some chess piece cupcakes lying around.)