In this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we solve The Case of the Missing Crutches; we meet Kevin, the wedding planner who has never heard a question that he couldn’t answer by simply saying, “It’s Beverly Hills!”; and we realize that someone needs to point Kim Richards in the direction of the mint aisle in the grocery store. At least she didn’t put a cardboard pine tree in her mouth.
Season 2, Episode 7 “Game Night Gone Wild,” caught up with the action from last week’s game night (in case you didn’t get enough awkward tension last time!). Brandi Glanville flips out when Kyle Richards brings up her son — and yes, this is the same son who believes that, if nature calls, you gotta accept the charges. (Isn’t it about time that we let this guy and his small bladder off the hook already?)
And then, when Brandi charged back that Kim has been doing crystal meth — yep, she went there! — Kim turned to her favorite means of recourse: the finger point. Thankfully, Taylor Armstrong was there to separate these two from turning game night into fight night. (Who knew that someone of Taylor’s size would be breaking up brawls?)
Finally, the Game Night That Just Won’t End mercifully does, as Brandi hightails it out of there (or rather, hobbles out of there, missing crutches finally in tow). Taylor and Camille Grammer both agree that the “crystal meth” comment was a low blow. Of course, choosing the meanest thing said at game night is like picking out the least-funny David Spade movie. (There are a lot of contenders.)
As for Dana Wilkey, she only has one request — that Kim and Kyle take her everywhere they go and that they promise to love her unconditionally for the rest of eternity. Seems reasonable, right?
Later that week, Kyle explains to Lisa Vanderpump and Adrienne Maloof what happened at game night, and as soon as Adrienne hears what happened, she knows to assume that Kyle is a bit more at fault than she’s claiming to be. (Nothing gets by our Adrienne!) Lisa, however, appears to be firmly on Team Kyle. Then again, Lisa the Brit seems most shocked that Brandi couldn’t identify Winston Churchill. Suffice it to say, Brandi won’t be getting invited to share her thoughts about the royal family on CNN anytime soon.
Kim and Kyle are soon headed off on a joint family vacation to Kyle’s Palm Desert home, better known as “the home that caused the limo ride from hell.” Not even the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland has caused as much screaming as this house.
Both Kim and Kyle explain the history of the stolen house, and it’s a little hard to know who to side with, but it does sound like Kim sold her share, fair and square. Then again, Kim is understandably bitter about only getting $20k in return. (Heck, Dana spends more than that on sunglasses.) And when they’re not focused on the house, Kim and Kyle engage in their other favorite pastime, with Kyle telling Kim how to live her life, and Kim becoming more and more resentful. Ah, sisters.
Lisa invites over an uber-fabulous wedding planner named Kevin to help plan her daughter Pandora’s wedding, and he arrives suited and booted (in Lisa’s words). Lisa and Pandora explain that they want a small, subdued ceremony with lots of pink, and Kevin somehow interprets that to mean a ginormous, Kardashian-caliber wedding that costs seven figures, with no pink allowed within 50 miles of the ceremony. (In fact, we’re guessing that the DJ reception would even be forbidden from playing one of Pink’s songs.) Apparently, Kevin’s mantra is, “The customer is always right, except on the most important day of their lives.”
Camille and her mom host a luncheon for their cancer charity, although many of the guests apparently thought that it was actually a benefit to end the marginalization of wacky hats. Remember Brandi saying that she would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever see these girls again (and she may have even used a few more evers than we did)? Well, apparently she meant, “I won’t see them again for, oh, let’s say the next 12 hours.”
Sure enough, Brandi and Kyle are both in attendance and seated at the same table. They basically ignore each other, although Brandi decides at the end of the night that she had somehow won that round. Then again, any event that doesn’t involve Brandi tossing around expletives left and right should probably be seen as a success.
So it was a drama-filled episode, which started with Kim and Brandi almost coming to blows, and ended with Kim and Kyle not seeing eye-to-eye. Here’s hoping the Richards sister has since switched from Binaca to Altoids.