Credit: Bravo Photo: Kim Richards and Boyfriend Ken Blumenfeld Hold Hands in Season 2, Episode 9

It was all about dog-shaped cakes, actual snakes, Marky Mark, and a depressing mermaid on tonight's episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And the episode was filled with shockers, from Russell Armstrong's plans to file a lawsuit against US Weekly, to Kim Richards revealing her secret boyfriend. But the moment we found the most shocking? Kyle Richards' impressive splits on that table! Who knew the woman was that flexible?

The episode begins with not one but two parties being planned. Lisa Vanderpump is spreading the word about her daughter Pandora's engagement party at friend Mohamed's not-exactly-modest home, which has more square footage than most national parks. Meanwhile, Taylor Armstrong is preparing for her daughter Kennedy's fifth birthday party, which of course means reminiscing about her infamously extravagant birthday party last year. (But we all know that you never forget your fourth birthday, right?)

This year's birthday is Western-themed, and the cake that Kennedy has selected just happens to cost $2,000. Apparently, when you grow up in Beverly Hills, eating a cake made from Pillsbury Funfetti cake mix is not an option.

Meanwhile, Kyle's mother-in-law, Estella, has apparently taken to heart Paul Nassif's recommendation from last season that she get a little work done. (Then again, we assume that telling someone to "get a little work done" is Paul's solution for everything.) Paul takes good care of her during the operation, although you might not know it from watching him call up Mark Wahlberg's voicemail as he's operating on Mauricio's mom to tell him some extremely urgent news that his anesthesiologist looks a little bit like him. (Priorities, Paul.) In other words, if Kyle was freaked out about having to see Estella's disfigured post-surgery visage, we can imagine how much more on-edge she'd be if she had seen Dr. Chit-Chat in action.

Credit: Bravo Photo: Mauricio Umansky Kisses Kyle Richards in Season 2, Episode 9

Taylor and Russell invite Kyle and Mauricio for dinner, prompting Taylor to hire some help in the kitchen for the occasion. For a while, though they didn't seem to have much to talk about, the night seems to go by just fine, due to Mauricio's charm and Kyle's wackiness (i.e., we don't think we've ever seen someone that afraid to eat soup before).

However, this mood is about to go from genial to downright squirm-worthy is zero seconds flat, once the conversation turns to the recently published Us Weekly article, claiming that Taylor and Russell are separated. Mauricio and Kyle don't know how to respond, as proven when Mauricio starts to say that he and Kyle would never had told anyone that.

In fact, Russell already has a suspect in mind, and that's Lisa, as a mutual friend has informed him that Lisa is tight with an editor at the magazine. Russell informs his dinner guests of his plan to sue the magazine, thereby forcing the magazine to identify their source. Needless to say, Kyle becomes increasingly uncomfortable.

Credit: Bravo Photo: Kyle Richards Does the Splits in Season 2, Episode 9

After watching someone in tonight's episode get a facelift and someone else threaten litigation, it was time for some levity. Enter Mohomed, whose ridiculous concept of a party is good for more than a few guffaws — including a mermaid flopping around by the pool, and women holding snakes for some reason. (In other words, no one will be referring to Mohamed as a feminist anytime soon.)

Everyone is decked out in their cleavage-exposing best, including Pandora (yowza), who is also wearing the beautiful heart-shaped, diamond-encrusted necklace that her mom gave her, created in part from a special necklace that Ken had originally given to Lisa when she was pregnant. Any chance we can borrow that, Pandora? Thanks, doll!

But not everyone was at the party marvelling at the fact that Kyle's splits meant she could probably run off and join Cirque du Soleil, or at the off-her-rocker woman who refers to her husband as Daddy (did somone say "issues"?). That's right — Kim was M.I.A., as she claims to have been busy moving. But we then see Kim on a date, and we realize it's with Ken, her boyfriend of — get this! — over a year. Say what? How has she been hiding this for so long? Okay, so we wouldn't call the guy a pretty boy (in other words, no one is confusing him for Marky Mark), but he seems really sweet, and certainly appears smitten with Kim. So how will Kyle react to having been in the dark for so long? We shall see!

And thus ends quite the eventful episode! We hope you all had a very happy Halloween and gave out plenty of candy to the trick-or-treaters. As for us, we didn't give out candy this year — we handed out slices of $2,000 cake. (Beats the hell out of Pixy Stix, right?)