It's time for a few more laughs — and a lot more fights! Just when we thought we couldn't get more drama from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 3, the "Secrets Revealed" episode proves us wrong! And there were plenty of shockers tonight, between fights, health scares, and amazing new shoes.
It's time for our recap of the episode. So show off your nipples, put your leg up on the dashboard, and make sure your brownies aren't too dry!
The Breast of Friends
The episode starts with Lisa Vanderpump claiming that Faye Resnick must be on Kyle Richards's payroll, which Kyle vehemently denies. Kyle and Yolanda make it clear that they don't get along, with Yolanda Foster calling Faye's "Chanel" comment the dumbest thing she's ever heard, while Kyle says she's heard some bad things about Yolanda's friends, too. Stop bickering, you two!
We love watching Kyle accompany Lisa for her first mammogram, as we see these two can be there for each other when it matters. And only Lisa could make us crack up during a mammogram, while proving that she definitely does not have implants.
We then go back to Portia's party, with Taylor Armstrong — in a wacky T-shirt that says "Beverly Hills" — talks to her friend Dwight about how only Lisa and Kyle have supported her, not Adrienne Maloof. Paul and Adrienne take offense to this, and Taylor breaks down. Taylor brings up the threatened lawsuit from last season, which she says caused Adrienne to yell at her for two hours. That's a lot of yelling.
What's that you just said? You just asked if we can please see footage of Adrienne fighting the ladies for even more trivial reasons? Well, you're in luck, as Lisa and Adrienne get into it about whether Bernie served dry brownies. Is there a worst possible insult than telling someone that their personal chef only makes so-so baked goods? We think not.
Shoes Come On, the Bra Comes Off
Kim Richards joins her sisters Kyle and Kathy — and niece Paris Hilton! — for a fashion show. Kim tells us that she and Kathy are so close that they talk about vitamins — because that's exactly what close friends talk about, right? And apparently, Kyle and Kim don't see eye-to-eye on the hot dog-hamburger debate, but they do both like mayo. Baby steps, people.
We see more of Brandi Glanville and Yolanda's adorable moments in Paris. Yolanda introduces Brandi to a Louis Vuitton designer and his buddy, and the girls try on new shoes. If only we all had friends like Yolanda.
Then, as they put on footwear, Brandi takes off another item of clothing and shows the men her nipple-exposing bra. The only thing is, the women thought both men were gay, while only one of them is. But if you were expecting Brandi to suddenly become inhibited, then you clearly don't know her very well.
That Poor Orange Cone
We get more of Kyle's stressful driving lesson with her daughter Alexia, in which those orange cones don't fare so well.
Come to think of it, Marisa's husband Dean can probably sympathize with the cones, since Marisa drives over Dean's fashion sense and basically criticizes every item of clothing he owns. Look on the bright side, Marisa: At least Dean doesn't own a T-shirt that says "Beverly Hills" on it.
Finally, we end things on a happy note, as the girls enjoy a moment of levity during the boa-filled stripper lesson in Vegas. Take it all off, ladies!
And so we now end Season 3, following these final few glimpses at the ladies at their highest and lowest moments. Now, we could use a snack. Anyone wanna split a brownie?