Credit: Bravo

The bold adventurers of The Real Housewives of Orange County traveled to Costa Rica in Season 7, Episode 16, and it was less fun than a barrel of monkeys. Between Vicki Gunvalson’s desperate attempts to make everyone sing in rounds and a mean girl gang-up on Alexis Bellino, it was pretty clear that you can take ladies out of the OC, but you still shouldn’t start drinking jungle juice before lunch.

Tamra thinks Vicki isn’t playing fair: “You can’t make up your own rules to life.”
It’s her zip-line party, and she’ll be a hypocrite if she wants to.

Jorge tells Alexis to calm her zip-line antics: “Sweetheart, my name is Jorge, I’m no god.”
Don’t sell yourself and your hair-braiding ability short, Jorge.

Gretchen flirts with the zip-line guide who tells them not to mess with their safety harnesses: “Are you the one that administers the punishment?”
No, the plummet to the jungle canopy is punishment enough.

Slade makes up a Costa Rican packing list Gretchen can adhere to: “Try to dress tastefully and elegant...”
Maybe pick a destination other than Costa Rica...

Vicki teaches the ladies a new game: “We’re going on a picnic, and I’m gonna bring my anus.”
Like, separately...?

Alexis does affirmations: “I’m still gonna go and have fun. ‘Cause I like me.”
Er... What’s your definition of “fun,” Lex?

Tamra tells a story about Alexis: “One of the most successful plastic surgeons said you’re a fake, and if he doesn’t know who fake is, who does?”
If you’re going to throw someone under the bus, at least be quippy about it.

Alexis always dresses to impress: “When you’re in that rainforest, you need to look good for the monkeys.”
We call the fashionable monkeys “Buy-curious Georges.”

Tamra translates Vicki’s “love tank” for us: “She’s getting laid.”
Thanks for clearing that up, Tam.

Vicki is a little jealous of the bag Jorge gave Tamra: “Hm, if the trash bag fits, wear it.”
It really is a jungle out there...

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