It’s the beginning of the end, Real Housewives of Orange County fans. The two-part finale went off with a bang — well, a bow. Heather Paige Kent recently became Heather Dubrow, and she wanted the celebration of her name change to go off without a hitch. Unfortunately, Sarah Winchester was invited to the soiree by one Alexis Bellino.
Heather and Tamra Barney get together for an engagement announcement. While Heather knows that Eddie proposed in Bora Bora, Gretchen Rossi is still in the dark. Tammy Sue is getting married, Heather enthuses, but they’re both worried about how Gretch will react. The leggy blonde is dealing with Slade issues. Tactfully, Tamra tucks the ring into her bra so she can surprise her new bestie.
Gretchen has no idea that Tamra went to Bora Bora, let alone the reason for the trip. After showing off photos of her coconut bra, Tam shrilly announces she and Eddie are engaged! “I freaking knew it!” Gretchen trills back. Both ladies are happy for their friend, but someone’s missing. “Why isn’t Vick here?” Gretchen asks. In a word, Brooks. Vicki Gunvalson’s new beau is taking up all her time, and Tamra is reminded of all things Vicki used to say about her and Simon.
Gretchen is a little skeptical because she thought Tam wanted to be on her own after her recent divorce went through. Nonetheless, Gretchen gives her girl props for jumping back into matrimony. Gretchen, on the other hand, is scared to death to marry Slade.
Elsewhere, Alexis and Sarah Winchester meet up. The topic of conversation is the ladies’ recent trip to Costa Rica, where the other Housewives held an intervention for the “phony” Bellino. “Costa Rica was so fun for the first 24 hours, then it turned brutal,” Alexis tells Sarah. The brunette, who wasn’t invited on the trip, can’t believe everyone ganged up on her friend. Alexis phoned everyone she knows, and all her pals assured her she’s nice, not phony. Of course, the most shocking part of the trip was that Vicki stood up for Alexis — as opposed to her supposed close friend Gretchen.
Thank goodness there’s an excuse to get all these women back together. Heather has invited Alexis to her naming party, and Alexis in turn decides to make Sarah her date for the event, since Jim refuses to go. Then the pair debate whether or not Heather has had Botox.
The day of the party has arrived. Heather showcases her floral decorations, gorgeous view, and (in her opinion, underwhelming) $550 cake. “The cake is a symbol,” Heather explains, and she laments the lack of a black, sparkly bottom. For some reason, we’re reminded of Gretchen Rossi’s Pussycat Doll performance.
Someone has informed Vicki about Tamra’s engagement, and it’s a little sad she had to hear about it second-hand, considering how close they once were. Maybe she’s just gun-shy after her daughter, Briana’s, recent elopement, but Vicki thinks it’s too soon. When Brooks arrives, fur coat in hand, Vicki is thrilled. “The guy can afford a fur. Shut up everyone,” Vicki tells the camera.
The scenes ping-pong between the ladies in their limos. In Tamra’s opinion, there should be no bitch slapping or wine throwing at Fancy Pants Dubrow’s gathering. Apparently, she finally got ahold of Vicki, who told Tamra she and Eddie are moving too fast. Eddie listens as Tamra rails against Brooks, whom she thinks doesn’t even have a job.
Alexis’s “true friends” have spoken, she tells Sarah on the way to the party, and the blonde Housewife isn’t pretentious. Vicki tells Brooks about the monkeys in Costa Rica and why she and Alexis are now biffles. Gretchen informs Slade that Alexis has hurt her. Thank goodness they all have traveling companions, otherwise we would never know what’s going on in their heads.
Meanwhile, Heather is preparing for her party by getting an at-home hair straightening. Her husband, Terry, watches. The plastic surgeon is a little nervous that Alexis will go after him, but apparently he and Jim are supposed to have a talk instead. Back in Alexis’ limo, she has to call off her watchdog, Sarah, who’s chomping at the bit to tell off Terry. “Inappropriate” is the watchword, as both sets of partygoers repeat it roughly a dozen times. Chapter 1 of Fancy Pants’ Guide to Etiquette? When entertaining in the home, never bring up the sordid details of a Costa Rican trip. It would simply be inappropriate.
The limos arrive. First up, it’s Tamra and Eddie. She leaves her ring at home, so as not to steal Heather’s thunder. (That’s Chapter 2 of Fancy Pants.) Guess who else has furs? Alexis and Sarah. Guess who wasn’t invited? Sarah, whom Heather thinks looks like a Vegas stripper. (Of course, she doesn’t say this to Sarah’s face, because that would be inappropriate.)
Everyone is faking playing nice. Vicki arrives in her fur, and Tamra makes a nervous face. To the camera, she questions the origin of Vicki’s fancy coat, suspecting the Housewife bought it for herself. Gretchen arrives, and she and Alexis pretend all is normal between them. While all the other guests abandon their furs, Vicki stays wrapped up; she’s clearly enjoying showing off her new gift. Eventually, other guests arrive, proving the Dubrows have friends beyond just the Housewives.
When Briana and her new husband, Ryan, come to the party, Vicki insists on taking a picture with her daughter. Things are still strained between them, but the discussion is being postponed. This is a party, and such talk would be improper.
When Sarah announces to Slade that she’s eating balls she found in the kitchen, Alexis escorts her to the bathroom. She wants her guest to slow down with the drinking and sip some water. Too little, too late.
Old-school Housewives fans will remember Jeana Keough. Last season, she and Tamra got into an altercation, but now she’s back, and ready to party. Her daughter, Kara, is in tow. The mother/daughter duo are guests of Gretchen and Slade, and when Tamra spots them, she realizes she needs a refill of her wine. A flashback to the Season 6 finale shows Tamra throwing her drink in Jeana’s face.
In the present, Vicki and Jeana hug, though they haven’t spoken much since the wine-throwing party from last year. When Brooks is introduced to Jeana, he uses his “I’m a hugger” line. Both Kara and Jeana are shocked to learn that Briana’s married and want to know why they weren’t invited to the wedding. Oh, that’s right. There was no wedding. Way to unintentionally pour salt into that wound.
Is there some way we can invite Kara to our next party? In Heather’s kitchen, Briana helps the sassy Housekid don a poncho, for fear that Tamra would throw another drink at her mother, Jeana. “To avenging my mother’s dishonor,” Kara toasts, after swathing herself in plastic against the “tiny, angry Shamu.” Seriously, though. Kara and Tamra should be best friends.
Darkness has fallen. Drinks are flowing. Kara is still wearing poncho. Tamra can’t help but notice and pinkie-promises not to throw any drinks if Kara will talk to her. The ladies have some real talk, wherein Kara reveals that she’s hurt that their families are no longer close. Tamra starts to cry and tries to explain that she was hurt that Jeana was talking about her marriage to Simon in the press. Then she admits that it was wrong of her to throw a drink at Kara’s mother.
When Jeana wanders over, she and Tamra quickly hug it out and agree to be friends again. Later, Jeana confesses to the camera that she’s not sure whether to take Tamra’s apology at face value or not.
Famous last words at a Housewives party: “I don’t want to start any trouble.” This time, they’re uttered by Heather’s friend Dina, who tells the hostess that Sarah ate the bow off her cake. Heather is furious and wonders, “Is she back to the booze?”
Classless, disgusting, and the behavior of a 6-year-old are just a few of the ways the women describe Sarah’s egregious act. When Tamra confronts her, Sarah explains that she has a “sugar problem” and thinks Heather should get over it. Terry is all aw shucks, maybe you shouldn’t have done that, and Alexis tries to brush it off. Sarah tries to buy their silence with a credit card.
Realizing that the Housewives aren’t going to let it go, Sarah offers a half-hearted apology. Alexis has flashbacks to Costa Rica and won’t allow her friends to gang up on Sarah. Even though the bow-eater calls Heather fake and pretentious, the gracious hostess still offers her an Oreo for her sugar problem. We haven’t had this much fun since the ladies went bowling for champs.
Next week, the party and Cakegate continue, while Briana and Tamra bond over their mistrust of Brooks.
- Previous Page
- Next Page