Real Housewives of Orange County Season 7, Episode 10 begins at Tamra Barney’s house when BFF Vicki Gunvalson drops by to check out Tamra’s new titties. (She had her breast implants removed last episode.) “I don’t know why anybody would want itty bitty titties.” Vicki muses. Hey, to each her own (titties)!
Vicki gives Tamra a hard time about her decision, but the petite (and now, well-proportioned) blonde thinks Vicki’s probably just jealous. While Vicki may or may not be jealous of Tam’s boobs, Tamra is actually very jealous that Vicki’s been talking to frenemy Alexis.
Speaking of Alexis, she’s planned a trip for the girls to go glamping! What’s glamping, you ask? Glamorous camping, obvi. Or, as Alexis explains: “It’s what you wanna do when you wanna be in nature, but not touch it.” Cute. Tamra acan’t come, but Vicki and Heather — who we all know isn’t exactly in Alexis’ fan club — are in like Flynn.
“Being stuck in the woods with Alexis scares me a little bit,” Heather admits to the camera.
“If I had to choose between being in the woods with Alexis and major surgery, you bet I’d pick major surgery,” Heather confesses. Wow. Can’t wait to see how this turns out!
Alexis has also just undergone major surgery on her nose, so she brings along a “nurse” per doctor’s orders. Only, her nurse isn’t actually a nurse, but rather her friend/makeup artist, Shannen. Okay then. On the way to glamping, Alexis dances in the car, but has to apply ice on her still-healing schnoz right afterward. She better hope there’s no unexpected surprises on this glamping trip!
Back in the O.C., Tamra’s boy toy Eddie shows up with a gorgeous bouquet for his girlfriend. Tamra requested to keep her old implants and is now using them as ice packs to heal her new, natural breasts. We’re a little creeped out, but Eddie doesn’t seem to mind. We’re glad Eddie’s there to support his sweetheart even though he has his own issues. (He broke his finger in half at the mud run and is now all bandaged up.)
Then, it’s time to check out the glamp-site! The ladies’ lavish cabins are full of little knick-knacks, like wine and water bottles and adorable little pink sweatshirts. But of course.
However, apparently all that, plus running water, actual beds, and electricity isn’t enough for these high-class ladies. The girls compile a laundry list of complaints about the glampsite: There’s no ice, there’s no counter space, and they have to cook their own food. “This isn’t glamping,” brunette beauty Heather Dubrow says. Wait, what? Were you expecting the Four Seasons?
Anyway, we’re glad Heather and Alexis decided to put out the effort, but it (not-so-shockingly) doesn’t take long for these two frenemies to start getting on each other’s nerves. For example, although Alexis may put out the vibe that she’s quite the rich b-i-you-know-what, she actually rents her house with her husband Jim. Heather seems annoyed at this fact, and starts cutting in with advice about how she and Jim should just buy a home. “What are you now a financial planner?” Alexis complains to the camera. Oh, here we go!
While all the ladies seem put-off by the small amount of “glam” in their “glamping,” Alexis quickly fixes that problem when the trim blonde busts out a few lavish gifts for her guests. Now that’s more like it. Alexis’ goodie bag pleases the ladies for about five minutes, and then hunger ensues. Naturally, all the women think they know the best way to light the fire to cook their food. When it’s not as easy as they’d hoped, Alexis decides to phone in a pizza, which pisses off the already tipsy and annoyed Heather even more. Luckily (or maybe not?), the commotion is broken up by an unwelcome furry guest: a skunk. Ew. Nothing glam about that.
But that’s not to say glamping is a total failure. There is one good thing that comes out of the awkward evening: Maybe it’s just the wine, but shortly before the ladies hit their (full-sized) beds, Vicki apologizes to Alexis for hurting Gretchen in the past. “I will take my 50% blame,” Vicki says. Well, we guess that’s better than no percent!
The next morning, Alexis and Heather continue to rub each other the wrong way. When Heather tells the ladies she recently bought a Prius, Alexis cuts in and says, “Oh my god, me too!” and then rattles off the list of the ten other cars she and her husband own. “Thats a lot of cars for two people,” Heather says. Oh, boy. Is Alexis “competing” with Heather the same way she did with old friend (and now ex-co-star) Peggy? We can see it coming!
Back in Orange County, Gretchen’s prepping for her Pussycat Doll performance, but she’s not very happy with the results. While working with her vocal coach, she messes up a few notes something pretty awful. Her voice is apparently still damaged from her recent screaming match with Vicki at the Bunco party. Her coach tells her just to keep resting it for a few days.
On the car ride home, Gretchen starts crying. She’s embarrassed and terrified that she might miss an amazing opportunity over the stupid fight. “It’s your fault, you know, you’re the one who put the stupid line in your improv,” Gretchen tells her boyfriend Slade, referring to the fact that Slade made fun of Vicki in his comedy act, the very thing that led to Gretchen and Vicki’s verbal warfare.
The girl does have a point. We just hope this pint-sized honorary Pussycat can pull it together before next week!