We’re back in the OC after last week’s Costa Rican adventure. Well, most of us anyway. Tamra the jetsetter is off to Bora Bora to go on an (engagement ring) fishing expedition.

Although Briana has a lot of negative things to say about her mom’s boyfriend, Vicki only sees one problem with her new guy: his teeth (and his lip and his gums). With his less than perfect smile, Brooks doesn’t quite fit into the OC image. The couple heads to the dentist, where Vicki wants to get his smile reassembled. (That lip issue is probably Dr. Terry’s territory.) “You’re gonna walk out with 10 beautiful teeth,” the dentist tells Brooks. Um, what about the other 22, doc?

Vicki says she’s happy with Brooks (though she’ll be even happier when his dental issues are resolved) and says she isn’t being taken advantage of financially. Let’s hope he has insurance.

Tamra and Eddie head to dinner. The trip was exhausting, mostly because she spent most of the time putting up with Alexis. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen between me and Jesus Barbie,” Tamra tells the camera, but she hopes Alexis snaps out of her insecurity. She only had one relaxing day in Costa Rica, so it’s good that Eddie has booked them a romantic trip to Bora Bora. Needless to say, Tamra is excited (as is everyone else in the restaurant) but suspicious. She thinks Eddie has something up his sleeve. A diamond ring, perhaps?

Though it’s been a few days since the Costa Rican nightmare vacation, Alexis is still feeling psychologically scarred. But Alexis is a trooper. Alexis is a professional. Alexis is doing a Fox 5 segment on resort wear. This one seems to go better than the last, and her producer is proud of how quickly she has picked up on doing live television. You drive that bus, Lex.

As Tam and Eddie head to Bora Bora, she reveals that none of the ladies know her weekend plans. They’ll think he’s going propose and if he doesn’t, and she’ll feel like a fool, Tamra explains in a private interview. When Gretchen texts Tamra, the Bora Bora-bound Housewife tells Eddie that she’s closer to her ex-enemy than she is to Vicki. Tamra feels as if she’s not allowed to have an opinion around her old friend. “Enough about the women,” says Eddie. The lack of lady talk gives Tam time to anticipate getting a ring from Eddie, which she expects him to present every time he opens her mouth.

Heather requires a fabulous cake for her name-change party. She’s inviting all the ladies to celebrate her finally becoming Mrs. Dubrow, which presumably means Alexis as well. The party will be chic — not a backyard BBQ like Vicki’s. As if Heather would ever make her guests wear their napkins.  

There are several jealousy-inducing shots of Bora Bora and its turquoise waters. Still waiting on some finger bling, Tamra tells the camera that after two bad marriages, she knows what she wants. After the couple checks out their bungalow (which has its own pool and is on stilts in the lagoon and when can our travel agent get us on a flight there?), they toast each other. To the camera, Tamra gets emotional, saying she’s not used to life treating her well. There’s a flashback to Simon and all the not-so-nice things he used to say to her. Tamra dons the coconut bikini Eddie gave her, which can’t be comfortable. No matter. She doesn’t wear it for long.  

Credit: Tamra Barney on Facebook Photo: Eddie Judge and Tamra Barney in Bora Bora

As Gretchen drives through the OC, she talks to her father on the phone. He’s buddy-buddy with Slade and probably knows why there’s a text from a jeweler on his phone. Gretchen wasn’t supposed to see the message, but it freaked her out nonetheless. She thought Slade knew she wasn’t ready for a proposal, and her dad agrees the two need to talk.  
 
Tamra and Eddie enjoy a meal on the beach in Bora Bora. This has to be proposal spot, right? There’s candlelight and talk of spending their lives together forever. Tamra has her face ready for when he pops the question. While she wants to enjoy the moment, Tamra keeps expecting to find a ring in her  food. Then, after telling her how much he’s looking forward to moving in together, Eddie kills the mood. “Chuck that out the window, baby,” he says when she mentions wanting a ring. He’s happy with his life as it. An unhappy Tamra wants to go back to the bungalow.  

Gretchen needs to talk to Slade. “Are you actually planning on proposing to me?” she says, sounding like the exact opposite of Tamra. Gretchen thinks she’s made it very clear that she’s not ready to get married. It’s not just Slade’s financial problems either. She still has baggage from her last marriage.

The fight continues, with Gretchen saying that none of his money problems would matter if she didn’t want to have kids. People say she condones Slade not paying child support, and she’s afraid how it will affect their relationship, his self-esteem, and any future offspring they have. “All this is is me telling you how much I love you,” Slade says to Gretchen. The ring was meant to symbolize that he sees her as more than a girlfriend. Gretchen starts to cry. “Right now, love is enough,” Gretchen decides, but when Slade asks if what she would’ve said, she repeats that the timing is off for them right now.  

A thousand miles away in Bora Bora, Tamra decides to stop waiting for a ring and just enjoy being with Eddie. They go pearl scuba diving, and the footage gets all Discovery Channel.

Cut to Vicki and Brooks in the dentist’s office following his procedure. What’s the difference between Mississippi Brooks and OC Brooks? Whiter teeth, cuter clothes, and minus $15,000.

Back at the bungalow, Eddie is busting open the clams. He gives Tamra a special shell... with a ring inside! “This is my way of showing you how much I love you,” he says, before proposing. Tamra has to nod because she’s shaking and crying so much. They exchange “I love yous” and then Tamra declares to the camera, “I f***ing deserve it.”

Next week, Brooks buys Vicki a fur coat for the crispy OC weather, Tamra tells Heather and Gretchen about her engagement, and Sarah breaks a cake. 

 

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