They're baaack! It was a blast to see our favorite ladies return — with babies and baggage — on tonight's Real Housewives of Orange County Season 8 premiere. It's time to recap the episode, so grab some onion rings, hide your sexy statues, and crack open your coffee maker's instruction manual!
The episode begins with Vicki Gunvalson preparing her home for the arrival of Briana and Ryan and their soon-to-arrive bundle of joy. Briana goes into labor and eventually has an emergency C-section before finally welcoming the unbelievably adorable Troy! Congrats!
But this isn't the only change in Grandma Vicki's life as she discusses that she and boyfriend Brooks have parted ways. She blames Tamra Barney for stirring up trouble that led to her breaking up with him.
Speaking of Tamra, she has moved in with fiance Eddie Judge, and we see him helping her with her gym's business cards. However, things aren't going quite as smoothly as she had hoped in his (supposedly dark and poorly decorated) home, as she finds him a bit controlling. And if you were wondering how Eddie feels about shoes being worn on the stairs, you now know that he's not a fan of it. At all.
No Onions — But People Still Might Cry
Tamra is out shopping for scarecrow hats (for some reason) with Gretchen Rossi when Gretchen gets a call from Heather. Heather says that Briana is in labor, and Tamra makes it clear that she won't be putting "shoot Vicki a congrats text" on the top of her to-do list anytime soon.
Heather also invites the ladies — with the exception of Alexis Bellino — to a clambake, which prompts Gretchen to hilariously wonder if she should throw a "Ham Off" next. Frankly, we think a Ham Off sounds awesome, but that's just us. Heather and Terry are butting heads about the clambake menu, as Terry is way too excited about having onion rings at the party. Perhaps we should call him the Lord of the Rings?
The ladies scoff at the notion that Alexis thinks she was bullied by them, but Alexis tells us that she definitely considers them bullies. We see Jim and Alexis in their new home, which is going well — except for Jim's taste in art. Apparently, Alexis wishes the woman in Jim's statue were wearing a few more layers.
Wake Up and Smell the Coffee — Or Not
Gretchen is adjusting to not having Slade around to pamper her in the mornings, now that he has his new radio job. In fact, she has apparently never tried the coffee maker before, so she calls him at work to ask him how to use it. Note to Gretchen: This is why Starbucks was invented.
Vicki is planning to attend Heather's party, but she hasn't spoken to Tamra since the Season 7 reunion, and she is aware that the ladies might not have the kindest remarks about her surgically altered face. She is nervous about seeing Tamra at the party, since she says her friendship with Tamra is "toxic" — and we don't think she's using the word in the sexy Britney Spears way.
As ladies arrive to Heather's party, Tamra and Gretchen — aka the Orange-Wearing Twins — are concerned about sitting so close to Vicki at the table, and Terry is rightfully worried that someone may end up in the pool. Let's hope not — but he should probably have a life preserver onhand just in case. And so the episode ends just as Vicki arrives. The suspense!
So it was great to have our ladies back, as they were cracking us up throughout the episode, particularly Gretchen and Tamra. It was sweet to see Briana's new baby. We also have high hopes for Slade as he finally seems to be working hard, rather than hardly working... for now, at least.
We have our fingers crossed that Vicki and Tamra can manage to put their differences aside, but we're skeptical about that happening. We're also curious to learn more about Vicki's status with Brooks and whether they're really broken up, which some of the ladies doubt.
And will Alexis ever interact with the other ladies, or is she just going to be having her own little party of one this season?
In other words, there are plenty of questions to answer this season. In the meantime, we need a beverage. Can anyone make a cup of coffee for us?