The only tough thing about choosing the 10 craziest quotes from any given episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County is narrowing it down to just 10! Here are our picks for the best quotes from this week’s episode, Season 8, Episode 1: “Bullies and Babies.”

 

10. Let’s hope the ladies keep their teeth to themselves.

Tamra Barney [about Vicki Gunvalson]: I thought she was gonna bite me last time I saw her.


 

9. What a sweet way to refer to Slade.

Gretchen Rossi: Who wouldn’t miss being my bitch, right?


 

8. Heather’s ready to call the adoption agency.

Heather Dubrow: Terry sometimes acts like the little brother I never wanted.


 

7. Being numb is probably a good way to survive around these women.

Vicki: They want to say something, say it to my face my numb face.


 

6. We wouldn’t want to call Tamra right away either.

Tamra: Last year, I would have been Vicki’s first call bitch!


 

5. Way to not overreact, Gretchen.

Gretchen: If Vicki actually says that she got plastic surgery because of Slade making fun of her looks, I will kill a bitch.


 

4. So maybe it’s a good thing Vicki’s face is numb.

Tamra [about Vicki]: I just hope that the bitch is nice, because if I have wine, it just might end up in her face.


 

3. Alexis assesses Heather’s skills as a thespian.

Alexis Bellino [about Heather playing both sides]: I just think it’s shocking that her career wasn’t more successful as an actress because she’s really good at it.


 

2. Oh, lord.

Tamra [about Alexis]: I don’t know who she gets down on her knees for, but I don’t think it’s Jesus.


 

1. Tamra discusses the miracle of life.

Tamra [about Vicki's ex, Brooks Ayers]: The only thing I can think is the guy was conceived anally because he’s the biggest asshole I know.