Everyone who's anyone has a catchphrase, and Bravo's Real Housewives love nothing more than coming up with random quotes and slurring them at the camera. The problem? Our favorite celebs still haven't been hired by Andy Cohen to star in The Real Housewives of Hollywood, and something must be done.

We've come up with catchphrases for La La Land's 10 hottest (read: wackiest) celebs! File this under "You're Welcome," Andy Cohen.

Matthew McConaughey: "The Hollywood Hills are my territory, and when I say ‘The Hollywood Hills,’ I mean my abs. Ommmm, ya'll."

Courtney Stodden: "While I lie beneath this sizzling sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt and drips irresistibly all over my moist body!"

Snooki: "Just because I'm about to pop out a meatball, doesn't mean I can't smush all over Melrose Place!"

Emily Maynard: "I've made out with literally every single guy in Hollywood, including your boyfriend. Come join me in my fantasy suite!"

Tyra Banks: "I'm America's real next top model, and I can't wait for you to meet my alter-ego, Tookie De La creme. Pot Ledom, lovers."

Justin Bieber: "Ladies love me, and lesbians want my haircut. I'm my biggest Belieber!"

Tori Spelling: "I used to be a ‘90s starlet with acid wash jeans, but now I'm a #1 mom who can't stop popping out babies!"

Katie Holmes: *Gentle sobbing*

Kim Kardashian: "I might be dating Kanye West, but I’ll stop at nothing to make my my lord and saviour, Beyoncé, my bestie."

Britney Spears: "You know what they say! Umbrellas are a girl's best friend, and no one can rain on my parade."

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