As the episode starts, Ken and Lisa now officially agree about Cedric needing to move out immediately. But all Cedric feels like doing is swimming in their pool. Seriously, this guy spends more time in the water than Michael Phelps. As it turns out, getting Cedric out of Lisa’s house has been harder than getting the troops out of Afghanistan.
Taylor then informs us that their dog, Snowball, is being sent to a new home. Also, Russell is throwing her a birthday party, which Taylor could not be less excited for. Looks like Russell just can’t win. (And how boring was that toast that Russell made at the party? When it comes to giving speeches, Russell is no Obama.)
So what did happen at Taylor’s party? As far as we can tell, the main culprit was Kim’s drinking. In fact, if any kids were watching the show tonight, Kim’s behavior would serve as a more sobering look at the dangers of drinking than any of those Red Asphalt movies that they show during Drivers Ed.
Taylor chooses tonight of all nights to hash things out with a visibly drunk Kim. And why wouldn’t you choose the night of your birthday to have a conversation like that?!
But of course, as is usually the case with this show, the drama isn’t over yet. They move to the limo, and it turns out that the fun has just begun.
It’s here that Kim calls Kyle “f**king phony,” while Kyle says that Kim’s an alcoholic, and that their mom was stressed about Kim when she died. Kyle also claims that Mauricio — who has apparently been sending Kim money every month — will be cutting Kim off. And all we can think is, if we were in that limo, we would ask the driver to show some mercy and just throw the thing off the side of a cliff.
So it was a crazy end to a crazy season. We then get quick updates on all the women, including that Kyle and Kim didn’t speak for weeks after this. Kim’s family apparently forced her into rehab, but she left after a week. Ced and Lisa had a huge fight as he was moving out, and they haven’t spoken since. And Russell apologized for what a huge prick he’s been to Taylor, and he started acting like a normal human being for once. (Okay, so that last one has yet to happen.)
And now we could use a drink to celebrate the end of the season! We just hope we don’t get so drunk that we start telling people we don’t like to have lunch with them. Because obviously, that’s the kind of insult that can never be taken back.
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