Eff is Frank, fired, and getting freaky in the bathroom. We got all three in Vanderpump Rules Season 1, Episode 6, “Caught With Your Trousers Down.”
Last week, Stassi needed a friend and former enemy Scheana was there. This week, we learn that all SUR employees help each other out, whether it be with reading lines or critiquing a low-budget film.
Someone who’s less supportive? Bartender Frank. Stassi’s new boyfriend mocks the column she writes for Pandora Vanderpump’s online luxury magazine by calling it the b-word: blog. “He just doesn’t take fashion seriously,” Stassi complains, though she appreciates that he’s ambitious. She wants a bizarre combo of Frank’s goals and Jax’s style.
At the Vanderpump mansion, Ken tells Lisa and Melanie — SUR’s publicist — that security found Jax and Laura-Leigh having sex in restaurant’s bathroom. “Is that what I’m paying them for?” Lisa asks. It’d probably be illegal if she was. The publicists looks like she really wants to get back to discussing the happy hour menu.
Kristen takes it upon herself to police where Stassi eats dinner. Her former friend is hungry like a wolf and chowing down at one of the restaurant’s tables — even though her shift started 10 minutes ago. “I want her to come in, shut up, and do her job,” Kristen fumes to the camera, and manager Peter makes Stassi and Scheana take their carryout containers to the back, out of the customers’ sight.
Meanwhile, Laura-Leigh and Jax head to an employee bathroom for something that involves a closed door and heavy breathing. Jax is pleased that Laura-Leigh is a freak, but he acknowledges that she’s at least twice as into him as he is into her.
After a sweaty cycling workout (there’s a lot of pressure to be the thinnest, prettiest girl at SUR), Katie and Kristen dab themselves with towels and talk about Stassi. Kristen is upset that Stassi wants to patch things up with Katie but refuses to speak to her.
“I have it on good authority that you got caught with your trousers down,” Lisa tells Jax and Laura-Leigh when they get called in for a meeting. Both steadfastly deny it. Lisa asks, “You think it’s my fantasy?” Then Jax admits it... to the camera. After sending Laura-Leigh away, Lisa reiterates to Jax that he should handle her carefully — the girl is clearly emotionally invested. “This isn’t your playground,” Lisa tells Jax before letting him off with a warning. We’re guessing she’s going to regularly police the potties now.
Katie brings two bottles of wine to Stassi’s. “Our usual,” she says. After a few glasses, they get teary and Katie insists she was just looking out for her friend — it’s not that she had anything against Frank. “You’re like my sister,” Katie cries. A couple of bottles of pinot gris and some “I love you’s” sets everything right between the two.
It’s Tuesday. On Tuesdays, Frank bartends. But today, Joey is in Frank’s place. Something is up. Peter uses his detective skills to investigate. Joey is more than happy to tell the story of how, on Saturday, Frank double-charged a customer; said “F**k you, you peasant” when the guy complained; then threatened to give him an atomic wedgie. Naturally, he’d been sent home for that offense.
Stassi is excited to introduce her parents to Frank. First, though, her boyfriend has to have a meeting with Lisa; the restaurateur isn’t pleased with the bartender. We learn that Frank was once inappropriate with Lisa’s friend and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills co-star Kyle Richards. But she wants to hear his side with the whole atomic wedgie incident. After he admits to saying that, she fires him.
Frank is happy, but Stassi doesn’t find it funny that she has to introduce her parents to her newly unemployed boyfriend. Actually, though, Frank is in commercial real estate and says SUR was cutting into that business. “You have a real job?” Stassi’s mom asks him. The bottle of vodka her parents polished off before meeting Frank made the story of his firing and jokes about her “pretty girl syndrome” go down much more smoothly.
The best part of the meet-and-greet? Hearing stories about when Stassi was chinless goth who ate loaves of bread in high school. Things changed when she got a chin implant, dyed her hair, and started modeling. Also, you can tell Stassi’s dad is a family man because he keeps a picture of Stassi rubber banded to his flask.
Ken gives Lisa a new car that’s pink and emblazoned with the SUR logo.
Tom Sandoval, Katie, Kristen, and Tom Schwartz have lost two members of their crew: Stassi and Jax. But Jax still calls to tell them about Frank’s firing. Katie thinks Jax and Stassi will reconcile. “They’re both little cry babies,” Sandoval agrees.
At her new apartment, Frank and Stassi are arguing about him getting fired. Then she wants to know what he thinks about her parents. “I’m not a gossip girl,” says Frank. Yeah, but if you were, you’d probably be Nate. “I can see how they raised a kind, loving, princess, diva of a daughter,” Stassi’s boyfriend tells her, adding that her dad is under her mom’s reign.
Frank says he can relate — he’s always doing things for Stassi. But she says he likes doing nice things for her. “You think I like driving Miss Daisy around?” Frank asks, complaining that she never thinks about his schedule.
Stassi goes outside to cry. Frank starts to leave, before she calls him bipolar. “You should find someone else to date,” the former bartender tells her.
While Frank departs, Stassi laments that she’s going through her second breakup of the summer. “God is literally trying to kill me,” she says through tears. Let’s pray for Stassi and her constitution.
Next week, Jax is stuck with Laura-Leigh — whether he likes it or not.