Time to come clean! It’s our Vanderpump Rules recap for the season finale, and in Season 1, Episode 8: “Last Call,” Jax tells Stassi the truth — and then Stassi tells him off! And by the way, if Jax ever asks you to borrow a pair of socks, make sure to say no. We can't wait to see the reunion show next week after watching all the madness unfold on this week's episode!
Goodbye, SUR. Hello, Jennifer Aniston.
The episode begins with Jax and Stassi back to doing couple-type errands, such as styling her dog. Okay, so we didn’t say they were normal couple-type errands. However, the thought of Laura-Leigh having spent time with her dog is seriously stressing Stassi out.
Jax tells Stassi that he’s walking on eggshells around her, but it doesn’t seem to be enough for Stassi. Uh, what’s more fragile than eggshells? Because that’s what Jax should be walking on.
Speaking of Laura-Leigh, she pays Lisa Vanderpump a visit to bid her farewell. Laura-Leigh has just booked a role in the new Jennifer Aniston film and is quitting her job at SUR. And we hope you weren’t sitting within 500 yards of your TV, because if you were, you probably have permanent hearing damage from all the squealing Laura-Leigh was doing. Translation: Girlfriend is pumped to be leaving this place.
Stassi is pretty darn happy when she hears the news about Laura-Leigh from Peter as well. Then, Kristen has a heart-to-heart with Stassi, and the two finally patch things up. Kristen promises to keep her mouth shut when it comes to saying anything that could upset Stassi, but we’re worried that this may be easier said than done.
Sock It To You
Lisa invites the staff over to her home for her annual SUR photo shoot. Because what kind of job doesn’t have an annual poolside photo shoot, right? The gang is looking sexier than ever in their swimwear, which is saying a lot, since this is one easy-on-the-eyes waitstaff.
Jax and Stassi make their way to the other end of the pool, where Jax confronts Stassi about the fact that she had dinner with Frank at Villa Blanca. Uh, why would she eat at Villa Blanca with Frank, of all the restaurants out there? Doesn’t make sense.
Jax tells her she’s teasing him, but Stassi assures him that he isn’t wasting his time by trying to rekindle things with her. This is when we hear our favorite quote of the night, with Stassi calling Jax a “moody mermaid.” Are mermaids really known for being moody? They always seem pretty upbeat in Peter Pan, or any other children’s books that we’ve read.
Then, Stassi and Jax pose for some seriously sexy photos — that is, the photos are sexy until Ken Todd throws Jax a sock for him to stuff into his crotch. What a sweet gesture, Ken.
Jax continues to get his life in order by seeing a therapist, as he admits to doing quite a bit of lying over the years. In fact, he admits that Jason — and not Jax — is his real name. Jax Jason then tells the therapist that he did in fact sleep with someone while he was in Vegas, so the therapist tells him he needs to come clean. Buckle up.
Jason Tells the Truth
For day two of the photo shoot, the staff goes glam. The girls reminisce about what they were like a year ago, and they dream about where they will be in a year, as Kristen claims she’ll have an Oscar by then. We shall see. Then, Stassi and Scheana kiss for the camera, because in today’s economy, people need to go to extremes to even keep their restaurant jobs.
Scheana sits down with Lisa to apologize for her dramatic behavior at SUR last week. She says she respects Lisa and wants her boss to be proud of her, which is a cute but slightly creepy thing to say to your superior. Still, it’s nice to see that Lisa and Scheana’s bond can withstand a minor bathroom meltdown.
The photo shoot is now done, and Lisa is celebrating with drinks for everyone, but Jax isn’t in a partying mood. He tells Lisa that he wants to do the right thing for Stassi, so he has decided to quit his job at SUR. Lisa is worried that he’ll change his mind, but she agrees that this seems to be a good decision.
The Campaigning Didn't Pay Off
Then, Jax brings Stassi a huge bouquet of flowers and confesses to cheating on her with a girl in Vegas. Stassi is shocked and starts crying. She calls Jax an asshole and is irate that his lies have damaged her close friendships. Jax promises not to talk to her ever again, and Stassi is fine with that idea. Looks like those flowers didn’t do much good.
Jax heads outside, where he eventually comes clean to his friends about impregnating a “bottle service girl,” whom he later paid to help cover the abortion. Again, his friends are all stunned, as they point out that they “campaigned” for him. Clearly, Jax has not provided change we can believe in.
Finally, Lisa comforts Stassi, who says she’s finally done with relying on guys and will be sure to focus on what makes herself happy. For now, it sounds like what makes her happy is getting a drink. And just like that, the season is dunzo!
So we’re kinda depressed that the first season of this show is already over, but it was definitely a satisfying finale. It was crazy to hear Jax finally tell the truth and see Stassi let him have it. We’re thinking it'll be tough to patch that relationship up, but you never know. And way to go on the movie role, Laura-Leigh! Looks like she had the last laugh after all.
In fact, the finale was just as sexy and drama-filled as we wanted it to be, as everyone seems to be starting their future on the right foot. And speaking of feet, let’s hope those socks that Jax was using for the photo shoot get washed really well before anyone wears them.