Can you believe all the drama this season on Vanderpump Rules? Oh my! As crazy as all of the Season 1 episodes were, tonight’s reunion was the craziest of all! In the Vanderpump Rules Season 1, Episode 9, we heard all about bloody noses, good sex, and shaved foreheads. Like we said — crazy.
What Removes Blood Stains?
The episode focuses for the most part on Jax — aka the man of a thousand sweaters — and his rocky relationship with Stassi. Speaking of sweaters, we learn that Stassi once hit Jax in the face, although he was mainly worried about getting blood on his Michael Kors sweater. Oh, the humanity.
Things get heated when Stassi maintains that she didn’t hook up with Frank until two days after breaking up with Jax. However, Kristen and Tom say they still believe she cheated on Jax with Frank, which leads to some very heated words between Scheana and Kristen.
Stassi Loses Her Friends — and Her Lunch
We also see that Katie and Stassi aren’t close at all, as Katie announces that she’s no longer going to take Stassi’s “s**t.” Strong words, Katie.
Stassi delivers one of our favorite lines of the night when she says she almost vomited on herself when she watched the episode with Jax hooking up with Laura-Leigh. May that be a lesson to everyone: Always wait an hour after eating before you watch Vanderpump Rules.
Stassi says she doesn’t regret the mean texts she sent to Laura. And then Jax admits he was lying — which is kind of his signature move — when he said Laura-Leigh was the best sex he’s ever had. Turns out, Stassi was his best ever, although Stassi admits to being hurt when she heard him say it was Laura-Leigh. Who knew sex compliments could be used as a weapon?
Stassi and Frank, Version 2.0
We get a pretty big shocker when we learn that Stassi and Frank actually got back together after the show stopped filming, and they only recently broke up again. Crazy! Needless to say, Jax isn’t thrilled about this info — nor is he thrilled to hear that Frank is a better boyfriend than he was. Then again, Frank probably didn’t knock up any bottle service girls in Vegas, so that helps.
Tom gets emotional when he says that he’s still Jax’s friend but that Jax gets too much credit when he’s come clean for his many, many lies. Clearly, these two bros have some issues to work out.
For his part, Jax says he still loves Stassi and is never going to stop trying to get her back. Stassi reminds him how he messed up her life, and she says it will take a lot to trust him again. However, she does admit that she and Jax had something special, so it sounds — to paraphrase Jim Carrey from Dumb and Dumber — like she’s saying there’s a chance.
Put Down the Razor, Tom
The episode didn’t have too many light moments, but we did enjoy Tom trying to explain why he shaves his forehead. Long story short: There’s gotta be a better way to exfoliate, dude. Tom also blames the fact that he took off his shirt during the fight on having taken a Xanax — although we didn’t realize that a side effect of Xanax was shirtlessness.
The one thing we weren’t surprised by this week was that Lisa Vanderpump was full of her usual quips. We especially loved when Lisa says that Stassi reeks of something. Well put, Lisa.
So the reunion had tons of shockers, particularly Stassi bloodying Jax, and Stassi seeing Frank again. But what do you think — should Stassi and Jax get back together? That’s the question of the day.
If these two do get together, it will prove that Jax is quite the smooth talker. In fact, it will mean that he’s probably smoother than Tom’s forehead — and that’s saying something.