Photo Credit:
Michael Caulfield/Getty
Photo: Kyle and Taylor (along with their husbands Mauricio Umansky and Russell Armstrong) attended the Oceana Benefit held at Esquire House L.A. on November 13, 2010 in Los Angeles. We wonder if Mauricio and Russell hang out together as well. It doesn’t seem likely...
Enough about the Housewives — let’s talk about their men! The husbands happen to be a mixed bag; picking the best husband was tough, but so was picking the worst. (In fact, our pick for the least-desirable husband may surprise you!) So here are the husbands, ranked in order — from the dreamiest to the one who’s a nightmare.
RUSSELL ARMSTRONG
Ranking: 5 (out of 5)
His best quality: Picking Russell’s best quality is sorta like picking the best thing about locking your keys in the car. Sure, you can maybe come up with good things about locking your keys in the car (you can get a little fresh air, perhaps the AAA guy will be cute), but it’s a stretch.
Defining moment: Russell’s choice to get Kennedy a dog for her birthday against Taylor’s wishes (a.k.a. Snowball-gate) perfectly sums up Russell and Taylor’s relationship. At least, once they build a doghouse for Snowball, Russell will have a place to sleep at night.
KELSEY GRAMMER
Ranking: 4
His best quality: Kelsey should be lucky that Russell saved him from the bottom slot on this list! NYC-denizen Kelsey’s good qualities are about as hard to find as an affordable outfit at Saks. Maybe it was cute that he had that pillow fight with his kids? (Again, we’re reaching here.)
Defining moment: Kelsey’s been largely M.I.A. (which itself speaks volumes). But how awkward was it to see him shoo Camille out of his dressing room after his play? You’d almost get the feeling that he and Camille were having problems or something...
PAUL NASSIF
Ranking: 3
His best quality: The poor guy just wants a chance to prove to Adrienne that he’s a romantic. Usually, though, he just comes off as whiny.
Defining moment: Adrienne begrudgingly lets Paul join her in Vegas, and then he makes a stalker-ish visit to her photo shoot. Who does Paul take his lessons in romance from — Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction?
KEN VANDERPUMP
Ranking: 2
His best quality: We’re actually starting to love this guy, who’s even-tempered and funny. That said, Ken’s best quality is pretty much that he knows to stand aside and let Lisa get her way. Because let’s face it — Lisa always gets her way.
Defining moment: With Lisa out-of-town, Ken was in charge of... uh, looking after the tiny dogs and chasing an escaped turtle. Clearly, Lisa knows which household tasks are best suited for Ken, and which need to be handled by their staff. (Apparently, chasing turtles is within Ken’s grasp.)
MAURICIO UMANSKY
Ranking: 1
His best quality: How much time do you have? For starters, the guy ain’t bad to look at. But we just love how happy Mauricio and Kyle are, and how he has her back. It always helps to have an extra person when you’re fighting Camille (which is also true when you’re lifting a piano).
Defining moment: Mauricio wants to extend their romantic getaway in Napa, so he tells Kyle that there aren’t any flights left. A little deceptive, sure, but still totally cute. Mauricio is like a Snickers bar that has tiny Snickers bars on top of it, in that he’s too good to be true.
RUSSELL ARMSTRONG
Ranking: 5 (out of 5)
His best quality: Picking Russell’s best quality is sorta like picking the best thing about locking your keys in the car. Sure, you can maybe come up with good things about locking your keys in the car (you can get a little fresh air, perhaps the AAA guy will be cute), but it’s a stretch.
Defining moment: Russell’s choice to get Kennedy a dog for her birthday against Taylor’s wishes (a.k.a. Snowball-gate) perfectly sums up Russell and Taylor’s relationship. At least, once they build a doghouse for Snowball, Russell will have a place to sleep at night.
KELSEY GRAMMER
Ranking: 4
His best quality: Kelsey should be lucky that Russell saved him from the bottom slot on this list! NYC-denizen Kelsey’s good qualities are about as hard to find as an affordable outfit at Saks. Maybe it was cute that he had that pillow fight with his kids? (Again, we’re reaching here.)
Defining moment: Kelsey’s been largely M.I.A. (which itself speaks volumes). But how awkward was it to see him shoo Camille out of his dressing room after his play? You’d almost get the feeling that he and Camille were having problems or something...
PAUL NASSIF
Ranking: 3
His best quality: The poor guy just wants a chance to prove to Adrienne that he’s a romantic. Usually, though, he just comes off as whiny.
Defining moment: Adrienne begrudgingly lets Paul join her in Vegas, and then he makes a stalker-ish visit to her photo shoot. Who does Paul take his lessons in romance from — Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction?
KEN VANDERPUMP
Ranking: 2
His best quality: We’re actually starting to love this guy, who’s even-tempered and funny. That said, Ken’s best quality is pretty much that he knows to stand aside and let Lisa get her way. Because let’s face it — Lisa always gets her way.
Defining moment: With Lisa out-of-town, Ken was in charge of... uh, looking after the tiny dogs and chasing an escaped turtle. Clearly, Lisa knows which household tasks are best suited for Ken, and which need to be handled by their staff. (Apparently, chasing turtles is within Ken’s grasp.)
MAURICIO UMANSKY
Ranking: 1
His best quality: How much time do you have? For starters, the guy ain’t bad to look at. But we just love how happy Mauricio and Kyle are, and how he has her back. It always helps to have an extra person when you’re fighting Camille (which is also true when you’re lifting a piano).
Defining moment: Mauricio wants to extend their romantic getaway in Napa, so he tells Kyle that there aren’t any flights left. A little deceptive, sure, but still totally cute. Mauricio is like a Snickers bar that has tiny Snickers bars on top of it, in that he’s too good to be true.
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