“I Could Use A Screaming Orgasm” and Other S%$! The Real Housewives of New Jersey Say

The New Jersey housewives were in fine form this week, making homemade “Fabellinis”,  cannolis,  and lots of trouble. Between all the wine, dessert, andmanly discussion, everyone was pretty stuffed, but they still managed to get some good zingers in before it was time to go home.

We somehow managed to narrow down the verbal gems, so see below for our top 10 quotes from Season 4, Episode 13: “Sit Down and Man Up.”

10. Lauren Manzo, on renting her old salon space: “Whatever the rent, it’ll be worth it for the revenge.”

Salon Wars: New Jersey.

9. Jacqueline Laurita, on Teresa: “I’m an army colonel’s daughter. I recognize these military tactics.”

You’ve always gotta have an escape plan with Teresa.

8. Joe Giudice: “I got a new thing. I don’t drink all week and then I drink on Thursday.”

Was declaring Thursday the weekend a “new thing” too?

7. Richie Wakile:  “I hope she doesn’t come, it’s like having a white elephant in the room.”

Or a leopard print bedazzled one.

6. Jacqueline: “I could use a screaming orgasm.”

TMI, Jacqueline.

5. Teresa Giudice, on Kathy Wakile’s dessert tasting signage: “My daughters have posters like that when they have a lemonade stand.”  

Maybe your daughters can teach you two how to place nice. 

4. Joe Giudice: “I can’t drive [the RV], unless they let me to drive in California with a Mickey Mouse license.” 

Mickey probably has a better driving record than Joe.

3. Richie Wakile:  “Take this motherf***** to Sears, and get him a tool chest.” 

Either that or a bottle, because these dudes are acting like babies. 

2. Melissa Gorga: “I don’t want to be a porn star, I want to be a rock star!”  

There’s a fine line, Melissa. 

1. Joe Gorga: “If anything happens, you’ll see a meatball flying out the RV, bouncing down the road. Name is Joe Giudice!”  

Joe Giudice on the rocks, one recipe that won’t be going in Teresa’s cookbook.