Another episode means another week of trying to narrow down the multitude of ridiculousness coming out of the Jersey ladies' mouths. Here’s our countdown of the top 10 quotes from The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 4, Episode 6, "Uncivil Union."
10. Melissa Gorga: "I love seeing Joe in his element at work because his kahunas are this big."
We believe the term you're looking for is actually cojones.
9. Jacqueline Laurita: "I feel like I'm in fairyland, I love this."
8. Christopher Manzo: "I will never understand the argument against gay marriage … The [Bible] says you can't eat shellfish ... I hope that doesn't become illegal. I like shrimp."
7. Joe Giudice, to Greg: "You probably got the loosest asshole here."
6. Teresa Giudice: "I know I don't need to see a therapist."
Excuse us while we laugh our asses off.
5. Joe Giudice: "Is there a beach in Chicago?"
Is there a map of the U.S. anywhere in your memory of elementary school geography?
4. Caroline Manzo, about Teresa: "What are you doing here? You're trying to be my best friend. She's all love and happiness, everything's great ... love, love, love, love, love. Bull$#*!. Bull$#*!, $#*!, $#*!, $#*!., s%#t."
Agreed, agreed, agreed, agreed.
3. Teresa: "Jaime's house is absolutely beautiful ... and I love the tree branch, the tree ... what's it called? The tree, that big tree ... he has a big tree, like an actual tree ... tree, tree trunk!"
Please. Stop. Talking.
2. Joe Giudice: "We both got our penises out like f%c&ing two gays, right, and he probably beat me by like an inch. Actually, the kid's name was Jaime!"
Fantastic story. Really.
1. Joseph Wakile: "... people that are homosexual ... do they have, like, gay-dar?"
A mystery bigger than the meaning of life.