We know what you're thinking: How can we possibly pick only five WTF moments for any given Housewives eppy? Admittedly, this is one challenging task, but we managed to narrow it down.
Read on for our WTF picks for The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 4, Episode 7, "True Love, True Lies."
5. Just Say No to Therapy Part 2
Once again, Melissa Gorga's hubby Joe reached out to his sister, Teresa Giudice, about the two of them hitting up therapy together. And, once again, Teresa blabbed to Jacqueline Laurita about how much she doesn't need therapy and how Joe should go with Melissa and how she doesn't hold grudges. Yeah, OK. But the real reason she won't even consider it? Her husband won't allow it. Um, what happened to her whole argument that she puts her brother first?
4. Puppy Randomness
Needless to say, all of the women were pretty annoyed when they were portrayed as bullies in the article Teresa gave In Touch magazine. Kathy Wakile felt betrayed by her cousin, Melissa was aghast with the picture they used of her, and Caroline Manzo pretty much refused to acknowledge Teresa's existence for the rest of their Chicago trip. Above all, though, everyone was baffled by the fact that dog-fearing Teresa was posing with an adorable Yellow Lab. Turns out, In Touch provided the pup for the photo shoot. In other words, even the cover photo is a total lie!
3. Sexy and Classy?
When the Gorgas throw a newly-renovated-home celebration at their shore pad, Melissa describes her and Joe as party people, who keep it classy but sexy. Apparently, Melissa's definition of classy and sexy is everyone getting hammered, Rosie threatening to eff people up, and the guys having a whipped cream fight and shoving each other in the pool, while the kids all look on mortified. Good times.
2. Joe and Teresa Giudice's Pillow Talk
In one of the most horrifying scenes in Housewives history (right up there with RHoA's Phaedra Parks' pregnancy pickle photo shoot), we were subjected to Teresa trying to get some action from Joe Giudice first thing in the morning. Luckily, he declined (more on that below), but how about that endearing, loving sexy talk? Your breath smells like hot dogs ... it smells like your hot dog! Not only have all of our senses been damaged, but hot dogs are pretty much ruined for us, too ... and right before the Fourth of July! Tragic.
1. Joe's Adventures in the Bathroom
Back to Teresa trying to give Joe a frisky wake-up call, she starts by commenting on how he has the best ass. Considering the amount of time Joe spends in the little boys' room, any reference to his ass is an automatic "please, don't." Then, as he pushes her off him complaining of her dagger nails, she notices the giant container of KY on the nightstand. Just as we're recovering from a mean case of the shudders, Joe reveals that he purchased it for some solo action — as a matter fact, he took care of business with his new skin product just that morning. Does TMI mean anything to this man?