It’s time for the kind of shenanigans only The Real Housewives of New Jersey can dish out, so let's get down to it!
Toil and Trouble
Teresa Giudice is over the whole fight with Jacqueline Laurita and isn’t bitter, but underhandedly manages to drop in the gossip gem that Jacqueline is apparently dealing with her own money problems, while noting that she, of course, wouldn’t dare ask Jacqueline about it. Or speak about it. To a camera. On national television.
Kathy Wakile’s sister, Rosie, then stops by, hoping to vouch for her sister in all this tabloid kerfuffle. Even after the drunken“Iwuvyou’s” from the previous night’s song release party, she’s had enough of these rumors, and is looking for some answers.
Teresa assures her that it’s all lies, and that she’s all about family. But then, somehow, it turns into a Kathy bashing sesh, with Teresa claiming that Kathy hated the fact that Rosie was a lesbian. My how Teresa’s olive branch brunch of last week is so soon forgotten.
Over at the Manzos, it’s dinner time with the Lauritas. The upcoming RV trip is causing a bit of stress for Jacqueline, who declares herself to be the bigger person, and not ban the Giudices from the trip because of their fight.
But that’s not the only thing troubling our former Vegas gal, since Ashlee (the artist formerly known as Ashley) has decided to make the incredibly smart decision she definitely won’t regret in five years, to tattoo a skull on her hand. Ash also undergoes some other questionable procedures in an attempt to Californicate herself before moving to the West Coast, giving Jacqueline even more to worry about.
At the Wakile’s Sunday dinner, life is considerably sweeter, with Grandma Maria spinning legitimately touching stories of “selfless love” that the whole clan can enjoy. Let’s be real, it’s a mantra that most of these housewives could all stand to live by.
Maria’s story about being given up by her mother (to her aunt) at age 5 so that her aunt could have the experience of raising a child, really makes all the other drama look pretty silly.
Filled with the family spirit, Kathy decides to selflessly offer to go to a lesbian bar with sister Rosie, in the hopes of finding her a good gal to settle down with, so that she can finally feel good about her sexuality and her self.
Kathy makes good on her word and next thing we know, Kathy, Rosie, and the former object of Rosie’s affection, Heather — who is really just mining for screen time with tales of her “crazy” antics — are on a family field trip to a gay bar. Like any good wingwoman, Kathy takes a lap scoping the talent, ready to wrangle up a few hotties for her sis, but gets sidetracked with a few shots in the process. Oops!
The Doctor Is In
Now it’s on to the other set of siblings, who — let’s be honest — aren’t doing nearly as well. Waiting in the therapist’s office, Teresa looks like she’s walking into a job interview, but, playing the supportive brother, Joe Gorga tells her that she looks “sexy.” We’re not even going to touch that one.
Once behind the sound proof walls, Teresa is candid, but it seems like she is still renting some beachfront property on De. Nial. Throughout the session, Teresa feels the need to “correct” the therapist, who frankly, has no idea who he’s dealing with. After a few minutes he’s maxed out and ready to talk to Joe Gorga.
Joe echoes his sister’s sentiments that wife Melissa Gorga’s pregnancy was somehow the beginning of their troubles, which we kind of know already, if the infamous christening episode was any indication.
With the sibs together on his couch, Dr. Michael Sweeney is ready to rule on the case.
When Teresa brings up sharing an RV during their upcoming trip, he bluntly says “Don’t. Do. It.”, which Teresa takes as a challenge that she’s ready to beat.
Teresa and Joe aren’t even pretending to listen to this “Dr. Sweeney” anymore, because they’ve clearly got this. Leaving feeling refreshed and ready to conquer the day, the pair decide that they are “helped,” as long as they just don’t bring up anything from the past. Which they never do, right?
They can’t even get to the lobby of the therapist’s office without erupting over some fresh hell, with Joe accusing Teresa of telling the press that she was building a house for their aging parents to live in. Ending on a high note, Joe takes a page from Caroline Manzo’s book and side eyes her “expensive purse,” which, to be honest, Teresa should really leave at home from time to time.
If this is any indication of their upcoming RV trip, then we’re less than hopeful.