It's time for our weekly dose of insanity — here's what went down on Season 4, Episode 3 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Let's do this!
The gang meets up for a little pleasure cruise down the shore, while Rosie babysits the kiddos. Everyone's on board, except Caroline Manzo, which of course means Caroline Manzo is the main topic of conversation on the boat. Specifically, the fact that Caroline's going through menopause. And that she's got no patience.
Before they set sail, Teresa Giudice talks to Jacqueline Laurita about how upset she is about all the press she is getting about Joe Giudice's arrest. Jacqueline wonders why Teresa keeps agreeing to participate in the interviews since she's clearly talking to the press about Joe's woes, but refuses to confide in her family. Good question.
Nothing Like Support From Your Family
Over at Caroline's house, her daughter is adjusting to life on her liquid diet plan. She's lost five pounds so far and she's already focusing on her next goal: Having a lot of money. Her brothers are helping to keep her motivated by theorizing that her future kids with her boyfriend Vito — who's also on the plump side — will resemble heavy-breathing koala bears with uncontrollable arms. Thanks for the support, fellas.
Summer Solstice Showdown
Later, Jacqueline's friend Tia hosts a summer solstice party and all the women are invited. The point of the gathering is to get rid of all negative energy — there's even fairies at the door applying "third eyes" to all the guests — unfortunately, it turns into an adult version of telephone that ends with a parking lot showdown.
The seed of drama is planted when Melissa Gorga reveals to Jacqueline and Caroline that Teresa told her brother that Melissa would leave him for a dude with more money. Once they're at the party, Kathy Wakile's sister Rosie approaches Teresa about the comment. Next, Teresa shares the situation with Jacqueline ... and soon realizes that Jacqueline already knows. Jacqueline asks Melissa to talk to Teresa directly.
Melissa sits down with Teresa and they start to discuss how the whole mess got started. The second Melissa says the word "jail," though, Teresa storms out of the party. Apparently, the correct terminology is "going away."
Eventually, Jacqueline gets Melissa to go out to the parking lot to talk to Teresa, which turns into the first real battle of Season 4. Teresa explains that the reason she told her brother that Melissa might leave him for another guy is because she's out at the clubs doing her thing all the time now. Melissa points out that just because Teresa's out doing book-signings every night, it doesn't mean that she's cheating, right?
The sisters-in-law continue to squabble until Melissa demands that Teresa apologize. Naturally, Teresa's like, don't tell me what to do, bitch. They then proceed to get into an asinine conversation about gift-giving, before Teresa throws in the towel and starts to leave for good ... until Melissa calls her a coward and urges her to leave and Teresa's back on the "don't tell me what to do" kick. Just when things are about to possibly get physical, Melissa decides to walk away because Teresa is her children's aunt, after all.
So much for Melissa's plan to keep the peace this year.