Once again, it’s time for the kind of shenanigans only The Real Housewives of New Jersey can dish out, so let's get down to it!
Picking Up the Pieces
Even though it’s a been a week since Jacqueline Laurita cut ties with bestie Teresa Giudice, these gals live in a strange alternate dimension known as ‘‘reality television,” so this week’s episode opens with a distraught Jacqueline unable to face the world or cameras with runny mascara. Meanwhile, Teresa seeks comfort in the arms of her man, Joe, who tells her to forget about the other ladies, because she’s got him. Somehow we are less than reassured.
Teresa barely has to time to say thank you, because Joe — in fine form — abruptly ends the convo and is on to whatever he does best. Since Teresa doesn’t have anyone else, she’s forced to call up second stringer, Kathy Wakile, for a cute brunch that neither of them is really in to. In Teresa’s mind, they’ve never had problems. We guess if it doesn’t involve the United States Attorney General, then it’s not a real “problem” for Teresa. Kathy isn’t buying this buddy brunch, but as always, keeps it cool and advises Teresa to just give Jacqueline and Caroline Manzo a little time.
Realizing that she’s out of options and may need some help, Teresa sits Joe down (outside their house?) to discuss the possibility of going to some much needed therapy with her brother, which is apparently still against Joe’s moral code. It’s a little heartbreaking to watch just how alone Teresa is, and it’s clear she’s starting to realize that it won’t get any better without some major changes.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like she’s getting the support she needs from her husband, who is somehow embarrassed for her, and not the other way around.
Finally, and not without some questionable comments, Joe gives Teresa his blessing to go to therapy, which is pretty much the seventh circle of hell in his mind.
As uncomfortable as that was, the show must go on (literally, Bravo’s gotta pay all those h’wives somehow). So this week, it’s all about Melissa’s song release party!
Melissa Gorga has clearly been waiting for this moment ever since she was cast on RHoNJ. She’s so excited she’s even primping for an interview with Ryan Seacrest. A phone interview.
It goes well, even after some well timed and entirely expected sexual innuendos from Joe Gorga, so then Melissa heads off to be praised by her fans at her debutante ball, um, song release party.
At the swanky New York shindig, it’s like a game of musical enemies as Teresa must avoid the minefield of former friends on display (on display! on display!), while still smiling and wishing Melissa empty congratulations.
She finally reveals that she’s ready to go to therapy with Joe, who is happy yet a little hesitant as well. We’re cautiously optimistic about this turn of events, especially after Teresa admits that she hopes this doctor will get her brother to admit that he’s the problem.
Of course, no housewives extravaganza would be complete without a little mid-party confrontation, so Jacqueline steps to Teresa in an attempt to reconcile? Blame? Pantomime emotionally? Honestly, we’re not quite sure what she was hoping to get out of this conversation.
In a stunning plot twist, things get heated as they both rehash everything they’ve already said, and Melissa must intervene because they’re kind of being buzzkills.
Jacqueline seems to have found her voice though, because she gets in a solid “F*** you” to Teresa, perhaps finally realizing that this isn’t the same girl she befriended all those seasons ago.
Teresa, meanwhile, seems to be getting along with Melissa now, because … well, it’s convenient, and the party strangely enough, turns into a “no you’re the best!” contest, with Kathy, Melissa, Teresa, and their accompanying husbands, as Teresa insists she hasn’t changed. (Thou dost protest too much, we thinkest). But, if we know our New Jersey girls, this little lovefest can’t last long.