Credit: David Moir/Bravo Photo: Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga Hold on to Their Wine

Another episode means another week of trying to narrow down the multitude of ridiculousness coming out of the Jersey ladies' mouths. Here’s our countdown of the top 10 quotes from The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 4, Episode 2, "Poker Face."

10. Melissa Gorga: "Joe actually has to go to work so he can pay the bills ... yeah, it sucks."

Why is life so unfair?

9. Lauren: "I think the diet's gonna work because it's the closest thing to anorexia."

Way to make healthy choices.

8. Milania: "You're not a cooker... you're a hooker!"

Can't wait to see this girl as a teenager.

7. Joe Giudice: "When I went to go grab him, I couldn't find his nuts ... he's got pebbles for nuts. I mean, he's got no nuts at all."

Bigger problem: Why are you grabbing nuts?

6. Albie: "Ashlee thinks she's Ke$ha. She has Ke$ha music playing in her head. She thinks that a limo is gonna pull up, and shopping bags are gonna fly everywhere, and she's gonna jump in, and there's gonna be champagne, and like flashing lights, and then that's it — that's how life is supposed to be."

It's not?

5. Ashlee: "One time — I'm not even kidding — I literally took a straw to a bottle of Nyquil."

Is it just us or do we sense a hint of pride?

4. Joe Gorga: "Melissa doesn't get any buildings, the only thing she gets is this." (Points at his junk.)

Charming.

3. Rich, about Joe Giudice: "If you sit down with him, he's the best at everything [...] but I think he's the best at being a freaking Goodyear blimp because he's so full of hot air."

Ding, ding, ding!

2. Ashlee: "I didn't know that planes could crash until I saw the movie Cast Away."

Wow.

1. Joe Gorga: "Poison gave you three beautiful children."

What a beautiful sentiment.