Wherein Hanna Knows What Hanna Means. The Liars should probably never consume alcohol. They have too many secrets to spill. In tonight’s episode, Hanna swapped water for vodka at Mrs. Field’s dinner with the girls, prompting Emily to throw her out. Tipsy Hanna made it to The Brew where she was intercepted by Sydney, aka one of Mona’s minions, who proceeded to pump her for information using one of Hanna’s chief weaknesses: melted cheese. Oh, this girl is good. Hanna lets slip that the Liars were in New York, prompting “A” to send a text to the other Liars about Han’s big, fat mouth. Accusatory glances ensued. Other things Hanna’s mouth was up to this episode: kissing Caleb. That’s right, they totally made out after having a heart-to-heart at The Brew about the pain and confusion of failed spinoffs. Oh, cruel fates!
Wherein Emily’s Mom Ships Emison. Pam Fields has come a long way since her initial angry, in-denial reaction to Emily’s coming out. Four seasons later, Mrs. Fields is maybe, kinda playing matchmaker for Emison. Wondering if Emily and Ali were ever an item before Ali’s disappearance, Pam sets a popover-baited trap to find out. But the dinner doesn’t quite go as planned. Alison lies her butt off about her time “away,” prompting Hanna to become increasingly upset — and intoxicated. In the end, Emily admits that she did have more-than-friend feelings for Ali (though she ends the night by leaving a worried voicemail on Paige’s answering machine during which she almost drops the “L” bomb). For her part, Pam admits to Emily that the Rosewood P.D. isn’t convinced by Ali’s kidnapping story. As far as families go in Rosewood, the Fields are a highly-functional one in this episode. Then again, there isn’t much competition.
Wherein Spencer Gets Her Spy On. On the other end of the family-functioning spectrum, we have the Hastings who are in the process of imploding after Veronica made it clear last episode that she is leaving Peter because he’s a lying liar. We don’t blame the lawyer lady, even though Spencer’s tears make us oh-so-sad. This week, Melissa is back in-scene, and trying to convince Spencer to rally behind their father’s cause, but Spencer is Team Veronica (even if she pretends to be Social Switzerland). Sure, Spencer wants her parents back together, but she knows both her dad and Melissa are hiding something and, above all, Spencer is Team Truth. After commiserating with Ezra about being part of deceitful families, Spencer confronts Melissa who rambles about how all the murdering in their neighborhood has come from a place of love. Or something. It’s actually quite poetic — and made us more suspicious than ever that Melissa has committed at least one of the aforementioned neighborhood murders. Spencer is suspicious, too, planting one of Ezra’s fancy cameras to watch Melissa’s apartment door. She manages to catch a shot of Alison, or someone who looks exactly like Alison, lurking outside Melissa’s crib. The plot thickens!
Wherein Aria Goes Undercover. We’re still loving Aria’s take-charge attitude in the “A” game now that her butt is seriously on the line for murdering Shana. This week, Aria’s desperation takes the form of an undercover stint as a Radley volunteer to find out more about the connection between Bethany Young and Mrs. DiLaurentis. She battles obstacles like the inconveniently-friendly Eddie Lamb and the inconveniently-not-friendly Rhonda, an angry patient who was roomies with Bethany. Aria manages to nab Bethany’s sketchbook from under Rhonda’s bed. In it, Aria and Spencer find drawings that imply Bethany saw Toby’s mom fall to her death, and that Mrs. D. lied about what happened. But did Aria’s snooping come at a cost? After Eddie confronts Aria about her reasons for being at Radley, he sets up a meeting with Ezra but never shows up. Has E. Lamb been silenced forever? Say it isn’t so, show!
— “A” found out about Hanna’s slip to Sydney mighty quickly. Does this mean Sydney is on the “A” Team? Is Mona’s Army the “A” Team? Is there an “A” Team?! We don’t know anything anymore.
— Another Noel Kahn reference?! Why so cruel, show? We not only want to see this handsome-faced boy back on-screen, but we need to know how he’s involved in the “A” game. Ali seems to think he’s on her side, but Mona had his notebook in tonight’s episode. What gives, Kahn?
— Who put the rat in Paige’s locker last episode? This episode seemed to imply that rat-toting Melissa was behind it, but that seems to obvious. Mona (very) subtly hinted that Ali might be behind it. Was she lying to drive a wedge between Emison, or did Ali actually leave the rat to keep Paige frightened and away from Emily?
— The Fitzgerald family came up again in tonight’s episode. Excuse to give Spencer and Ezra to bond about or clue that Ezra’s family might be involved in the “A” game?
— So many Alison twin clues: The twinny painting in the Radley collection. Hanna’s quip to Ali: “You’re the special one, Ali. There’s no one in the entire world like you.” Bethany’s drawing of a blond girl who looks like Alison. “Alison” caught lurking outside of Melissa’s apartment wearing different clothes than she was when Emily last saw her.
— Was Bethany the one on the roof the night Mrs. Cavanaugh died? How is Toby’s mom’s death connected to Mrs. DiLaurentis? And why would “A” kill Bethany?
— Melissa insists that all of this murdering is “still about love.” How does she know?! Was it her love, and if so, her love for whom?
— What is “A” planning for Ella and The Muffin Man’s engagement party? And does she intercept all of the Liars’ mail, or just the letters with the best stationary?
Other Things To Be Discussed:
— Hanna called Caleb out for being the King of Bad Decisions in tonight’s episode, and we mostly agree. Except for Caleb’s reading of Swamp Thing. Very cool, Caleb. Very cool.
— Ezra thought he could solve the mystery of Ali’s apparent murder? Ambitious.
— We’re not sure how we feel about Haleb getting back together so soon, but Hanna’s insistence to Ali that Caleb is “the most un-mistake thing” in her life was pretty sweet.
— Why did Pam have a drinks trolley at the dinner she was hosting for a group of teenagers? We know Hanna needed access to some alcohol to move the plot along, but this felt a little forced.
— But, seriously, Eddie Lamb better not be dead. Maybe he started baking cookies for his patients and lost track of time?
— Why didn’t Spencer plaster, like, 15 of those cameras around the Hastings’ property? If she’s going to spy on her sister, she might as well go all in.
— Spencer’s speech to Melissa on the nature of the “A” game was kind of amazing and self-aware and Pretty Little Liars at its absolute best: “This is not about love … This is about lies. And whispered conversations that stop whenever somebody walks in the room. This is about Alison. What really happened to her. And what happened to that poor girl who ended up in the ground.”
What did you think of Season 5, Episode 7? Sound off in the comments below!
Catch the next episode of Pretty Little Liars on July 29, 2014 at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.
Kayti Burt is a contributing writer for Wetpaint Entertainment with a penchant for all things pop culture. Follow her on Twitter and Google+!