Oh, how Declan Porter misses the carefree days of Revenge Season 1 when he would troll the Montauk docks, stealing lobsters and wooing his lady love, Charlotte Grayson. Season 2 was a whole new world for The Stowaway’s worst bartender and things didn’t exactly end well (read: He’s playing with Sammy the Dog in Hamptons Heaven).

It all started out when Declan decided to pull in some extra cash for college at the start of the season. He was approached by a no-good preppy (aren’t they the worst?) named Trey Chandler.

Credit: Eric McCandless/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney Photo: Charlotte, Declan, Kenny, and Jack Look Serious in Revenge Season 2, Episode 10, "Power"

Trey asked Declan to hold some of his step mother’s jewelry for him so the he could sell it later without her knowing. Then he bumped things up a bit when he convinced him to rob a mansion. Naturally, Declan left his I.D. behind and a scruffy-faced “millionaire” named Kenny Ryan returned it to The Stowaway, threatening to sue the Porters.

Jack Porter was able to strike up a deal and together they worked to manage The Stowaway. Unfortunately, Kenny and his brother Nate were playing the Porters in order to get some revenge of their own.

Convinced their father, Joe Ryan, had been murdered by Carl Porter Sr., the Ryan brothers were looking to destroy Declan and Jack’s lives. The tension reached a climax when Nate hid aboard Jack and Amanda’s honeymoon boat (The Amanda) and threatened to kill them both.

Credit: STILL Photo: Charlotte Passes Baby Carl David to Declan

He ended up killing Fauxmanda and leaving a devastated Jack behind. Meanwhile, Declan was helping Jack take care of Baby Carl David and applying to colleges. Get this, he’s planning on being a Harvard man! Yeah, we were trying to stifle our laughter too.

Academically things seem to be going well for Declan, but Charlotte’s going off the deep end. In the wake of her faux-half-sister’s death, Charlotte’s taken to partying with her enemy-turned-bestie Regina, who has a secret crush on her.

In the finale, Declan and Regina are trapped inside a bank together and he realizes that Char’s new bestie has been driving a wedge between them because she’s madly in love with the youngest Grayson/Clarke.

But Regina’s more slick than he thinks. She shows up at Charlotte’s side with a black eye after planting her cash in Declan’s pocket and claims he sucker punched her and stole her money.

Charlotte’s having a crisis of conscience mostly because she’s, well, pregnant. That’s right. Declan Porter has been spreading his seaman seed. And our minds will never be the same again.

Credit: STILL Photo: STILL: Declan Porter in the Finale

Distraught by his new baby daddy woes, Dec goes searching for Charlotte at Grayson Global minutes before it explodes. He’s trapped under the rubble and though he manages to make it out alive, his aortic artery ruptured during heart surgery and he doesn’t make it.

This causes Jack to tailspin into a massive, brooding fit where he takes a gun to Conrad Grayson’s gubernatorial acceptance speech. Luckily, Emily Thorne stops him just in time by telling him that she’s the real Amanda Clarke.

But what about poor Declan? The lobster thief didn’t deserve such a fate, and what’s worse is now Charlotte’s all alone to raise her future man jewelry-wearing offspring. Sigh, life simply is NOT fair.

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