Sure, he has washboard abs, and yes, he knows how to shoot a gun, but when it comes down to it, boyfriend passed out on the beach after being hit in the head with a pebble.
We're almost certain Danny Boy won't survive jail without being beaten to a pulp by some unruly "poor people," and we're pretty sure no one is going to be impressed by his slam-poetry skills.
Then again, Daniel might learn a few valuable life lessons in the clink, which will give him some major bad-boy swag!
Check out 3 skills we hope Daniel will pick up in jail — other than a love for chin-ups.
1. Shiv Making 101
For those of you who don't watch mass amounts of Law & Order, shivs are improvised blades that are perfect for stabbing your frenemy in the prison yard.
If Daniel comes out of this experience without a few shiv wounds, we'll be shocked — but hey — at least he'll get some street cred. Maybe he can teach Emily (Emily VanCamp) how to fashion a knife from a caviar can!
Oh wait, Emily doesn't eat food that comes out of cans. What were we thinking, LOL!
2. A Bad Attitude
Hopefully, Daniel's stint behind bars will teach him to be slightly less trusting of the people around him.
Once a few of his fellow inmates stab him in the back (literally), Daniel will finally realize that life isn't full of beach polo championships and rainbows, and he'll assume that everyone's out to get him — just like Emily does.
Only then will they be a match made in criminal heaven!
3. A Love For Crafting
Daniel may not be in the same rich person prison that Martha Stewart occupied when she was in the slammer, but that doesn't mean he can't tap into his inner craftiness.
Martha made an entire ceramic nativity in jail, and Daniel is atleast twice the man she is, so we expect great things from him.
Also, knitting needles make great shivs, just saying.