Revenge is a modern-day drama based off the 19th century novel The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. But lately, Jack Porter’s actions have been reminiscent of another 19th century story — Les Misérables.
Innocent and naive Jack Porter reminds us of hopeless romantic Marius, and since the 85th Annual Academy Awards are taking up Revenge’s time slot this Sunday, we decided it was time to discuss this wayward seaman’s similarities to the French revolutionary in this Oscar-nominated film.
1) Mysterious Friends Are Constantly Saving Them
“Every day, I wonder every day, who was it brought me here, from the barricade?” Marius sings to his bride Cosette. He’s desperate to find out who saved his preppy butt after the revolution failed. It turns out it was Cosette’s faux-papa, Jean Valjean, who carried Marius on his back through the sewers.
Similarly, Jack went unconscious in last Sunday’s episode, “Sacrifice,” after being shot in the side and thrown onto a life raft. Nolan speed boated him to safety, getting him to the hospital in time, but Jack will undoubtedly have plenty of questions when he wakes up.
2) They Always Choose the Wrong Women
We’re about true love and all that, but did anyone actually support Marius when he picked Cosette over Eponine? Clearly that heartsick alto was the superior pick. All Cosette did was sing high notes and bat her eyelashes. Eponine risked her life for the man she loved. Check yo ‘self, Marius.
Similarly, Jack went running right back to Fauxmanda Clarke the instant she rounded the corner with that giant baby bump. Jack, you triflin’ good for nothin’ type a Portah. Did that passionate kiss with Emily Thorne over Sammy the Dog’s lifeless carcass mean nothing to you?! Fine, go be with your stripper. Oh wait, YOU CAN’T. Too soon?
3) They Always Survive and Cry About It
Marius was so busy confessing his love to a girl he’d noticed once in a market, that he was completely oblivious to the freaking revolution going on around him. Sure, he eventually devoted himself to the cause, but he still managed to come out with a few scratches while his compatriots all lost their lives. Yeah, M-Dawg, those chairs are empty. How do you even fill the seating chart at your wedding, ya loser?
Jack’s been spotted sobbing in a hospital twice this season alone. First Mandy took a tumble off the Grayson Manor balcony and almost lost the baby, and now she’s actually lost her life. In the spoiler photos for Episode 15, “Retribution,” we see Jack weeping bitterly once more. Why does this guy keep getting saved?! Our favorite Hamptonites can pour their own drinks and Declan’s already making Baby Carl David a reusable diaper out of duct tape, so why do we even need Jack? Save a stripper, off a barkeep!
Do our comparisons make sense? Do you still like Jack’s character on Revenge? Do you hear the people sing? Tell us below!