Revenge is an intricately plotted and brilliantly developed show with almost no loose ends, but every now and then we scratch our head in confusion and side-eye the television (otherwise known as the signs and symptoms of a WTF moment).
This week, there were even more question marks than usual — and we’re not just referring to Tyler’s random patch of facial hair (whhhhy!).
1. Satoshi Is a Fantastic Gift Wrapper
Apparently somewhere between riding around the Hamptons in his bat-mobile and doing karate, Satoshi found time to break into Tyler’s barn and steal back Emily’s revenge box. Fair enough.
But then he seems to have wrapped said box in an elaborate bow in preparation to hand it off to Em. We love the idea of Satoshi being an expert gift wrapper, but more likely he’s friends with Martha Stewart and called in a favor.
2. Are Conrad and Victoria Divorced?
For a while there, Conrad and Victoria couldn’t even be in the same room without their lawyers present, so it seemed slightly strange when Victoria asked her hubby to sign divorce papers moments before the Fire & Ice Ball.
His lawyer hadn’t even looked them over yet! Conrad didn’t bat an eyelash, and instead signed the papers without reading them — which seemed completely out of character. Get your head in the game, Connie.
3. Tyler Is The Houdini Of Mental Institutions
We were thrilled to have Tyler back on screen (RIP, buddy), but wasn’t he arrested for murder and locked away in a mental institution? Anyone want to explain how he escaped, or why none of his friends or family thought to fly over to the Hamptons to check on him?
Oh well, we’re just thrilled that we got one last moment with our favorite psycho before he was cruelly plucked from our lives.
4. If Someone Invites You to Haiti, Leave Straight Away
We applaud Jack for being such a do-gooder (volunteer babies, here we come!), but there’s such a think as over-eager. For some reason, Jack decided to leave for Haiti the night he was invited with zero preparation — we’re not even sure he knew where he was going.
We can only assume Jack’s plan was to boat on over there (studs don’t take planes), and wander the beaches until someone let him build a school.
5. No One Will Notice If You Have Sex at Your Brother’s Party
Last time we checked, leaving a party to have sex in the ocean isn’t exactly socially acceptable. How did no one notice (not even overprotective Victoria) that Charlotte and Declan booked it down to the beach to make sweet love amongst some half-dead clams and sand?
And more importantly, why were there no security guards down there?